Golden Trash

BURLESQUE stars two divas: Cher and Christina Aguilera, so at the very least it shows promise. I don't think the movie was aiming for "Citizen Kane," but at the very least it could give us this generation's "Showgirls." (I had high hopes for the latter) Sadly, though, it isn't either. Though it has hot flashes of camp, they aren't plenty enough to erase the boredom that the rest of the movie subjects us to. The most glaring omission of the movie is a major one: a story. 


I wouldn't call this movie a musical. None of the songs makes sense, never mind move the story forward. The musical numbers have enough glitter and glamour in them, but are soulless. Except for a song or two, they are tuneless and colorless (I said the same thing when I reviewed the soundtrack ) I thought that maybe contextually the songs would work better, but unfortunately they don't. (I do think, though, that uninspired drag queens will have a field day mimicking some of the numbers)


Cher comes off unscathed probably because she looks like she isn't taking the whole thing too seriously. Christina Aguilera, however, flops. I have never been a fan of her, and in here she tries, again, too hard. She dances like she sings: all over the place and devoid of any kind of subtlety. I am sure her fans would eat her up, but there's no convert here. Stanley Tucci has fun when he is on screen, but it just looks like he brought his character over from "The Devil Wore Prada." Eric Dane and Cam Gigandet look good, but they have personalities of cardboard.


I am very disappointed int he movie, probably because I wanted very much to like it. It clearly has the gay audience in mind - they use Madonna's 'Ray Of Light" and Barbra's husband, James Brolin, has a cameo - but gay men, in particular, have such refined taste that all the trash here would just be, well, trash in their eyes. No wonder how you cover them in gold, they will still be trash. For once, I say: Stop The Music!