It's Just Another Auld Lang Syne

Well, I have a date with myself tonight - and it will be good. I think it has become more a tradition for me to just have a quiet NYE. My toleration level now for smoky crowds and parties is almost nil, so I will just do what I like to do, and be happy. Let's all say goodbye to 2010, and welcome 2011 with welcoming arms. It gets better. Let me post this Barry Manilow song, I always feel sad whenever I hear it. Up until the 90s, he used to always sing this on Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve, but I guess nowadays this song would be too melodic for Rhianna fans. I think it encapsulates what I always feel on this day, every year...

Before The Day Before

So I think I caught one of those 24 hour bugs, and it was pretty much very rough going last night. I think I slept the whole day today, and had only soup for fear that anything I eat will just get chucked out. This holiday season has just been one non-stop sickness after another, and yet another reason for me to want to rid of this year soon. 2010 was a bit of a struggle. There were good parts, though, and I just thank the Lord for all the blessings. 


Pipo and Jeff are both having a NYE Party extravaganza at The Mayan, and looks like I am going to e sick. I got an invitation for a party at Ric and Lyn's but had to beg off - right now my plans include being with Bette Midler (on HBO) and then maybe Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin (for the countdown) It's just all so exciting, I think. 

Knowledge comes by eyes always open
and working hands, and there is no knowledge
that is not power.

~ Jeremy Taylor

The Mood I Am In

I just woke up from sleep, am not feeling well again. Oh, when will this madness stop? And the snow is really annoying me now, it's not funny anymore. The usual seven  minute walk turned into a good twenty today, and why aren't the streets properly plowed? But then again, there's only so much they can do, I guess. I remember getting a phone call from the municipality the other day - actually, I let the machine pick up - saying that car owners should free the streets so the city can clear the snow. Weird. Since when did the city start calling people? And how did they find out my number? Do they have a master list of everyone's phone numbers? What if I had an unlisted number? Wouldn't that be invasion of privacy? I know I have a lot of questions tonight, it's just that kind of mood I am in. I have a little bit of stomach ache too now, and that isn't helping my demeanor at all. 

Jojo's Birthday Ramen

It's Jojo's birthday, so we had his birthday lunch together ! We went to Ramen Takumi, and it was delicious. I really love that all these ramen places have been sprouting up all over the city; I love them so much I can have them everyday. And the broth is so tasty: you can feel the love that was put in there. And it's just so fitting for us to have noodles on his birthday for it signifies long life. Hope you had quite an enjoyable birthday, Jojo. I know our birthday lunch was just divoon!

Snow Struck

There's still snow - a lot of snow - on the ground and I am feeling really "stranded" now, a sort of cabin fever feeling. But the street has not been plowed, and I am sure walking is really treacherous. The snow isn't white and pretty anymore - it's brown and nasty now, and I hope it melts soon. Also, it's weird that by friday the temperature will be close to 50 degrees, which can only mean one thing - flooding. But at least, a lot of the snow (I hope) will be melting.  I am here, savouring a bottle of red wine, and I cannot believe that I am almost going to finish this bottle all by myself. Well, who am I kidding? I believe it! Seriously, I need to start moving tomorrow. The food in the house is running out, and I have these Netflix movies that need to get mailed out so I have something to watch this weekend. I just need to grin and bear it. 

My Heart WIll Go On

First there was the snow, and now.... more fun! I was taking a nap this afternoon and got awakened by the phone ringing - an unknown number. I pick it up and find it's my bank, Chase. It's someone from their fraud department alerting me that someone tried to charge $1200.00 from my card, and they want to verify if it was me. Since the charge was from out of the country, they thought it was suspicious. Well, what do you know? Of course when I told them I have not been charging recently, they said that my card has now been "compromised," and they are now ordering a new card for me, and I should receive it within the next 5 to 7 business days. Joy, joy, joy. Now I need to get out in the 26 inch snow pile if I wanted to get a temporary card from a branch or get cash. Fun, no? Well, at least I can just be grateful that they are very diligent in these things, and I really don't have to be saddled with an erroneous $1200 charge. But still. It's a major major inconvenience.  Maybe this is the last attack of Mercury Retrograde, which ends the 29th (though I usually unravel earlier...) But we all must go on....

I expect that all of us get pretty much
what we deserve of appreciation.

~ A. C. Benson

I Am Dreaming Of A White Day After Christmas

So it is not just snowing, but blizzarding (is there such a word, don't care) right now, and we are even expecting 12-14 inche of snow. Oy vey. Mother Nature, you are a day late, it would have been a great White Christmas but better late than never, right? I can hear the howling of the wind, and even thunder with this storm. A thunderous snow storm - and I am still sick. 

Swan Like

It took me a while to finally see "Black Swan," and I think it's because I initially thought it was a horror movie. Then Pipo told me it is nowhere near one, it's mostly a psychological thriller. But the thriller side still threw me off, and I procrastinated...and procrastinated. Well, after I finally saw the movie, I thought my fear was all for naught. It's psychological, all right, but I wouldn't consider it a thriller. I liked it - a lot - but I would be the first to say that I don't think it's as good a film as some people say it is.


First of all, I think it's the campiest movie I have seen in a long time. I would go out on a limb and say that maybe Darren Aronofsky didn't mean for it to be, but what do I know? It has all the makings of a gay camp classic : ballet, backstabbing, alternate in the wings, musical numbers, cunnulingus. And the acting is spectacular camp as well. I thought Winona Ryder as a ballerina has-been was perfect, if cruel. Barbara Hershey has been talked of a possible Oscar contender, and Mila Kunis steals every scene she is in, and this is a tough act since Natalie Portman *owns* the movie. Why do I think so? Because she has a sense of elegance that rises above all the cliches and over the top aspects of the film. At times, I couldn't believe what I was seeing, with my hands over my mouth thinking "Is this for real?" But it is, Virginia, it is, and it is delicious. I see a lot of comparisons to Aronofsky's movie from last year "The Wrestler," that which of a main character mutilating their bodies for the sake of art. One would argue, then that this movie is a derivative of that. It could be, for sure, but this is just a little bit more sinful, so much so in fact that one really can't take it too seriously. Or maybe that's just *my* problem with it? Perhaps. I have heard some people say that this movie is reminiscent of "Carrie," or "Showgirls," even "All About Eve." I think it's much more than that: this film is certainly braver, and I must say that it is visually stunning. But also, it is also no more than those movies.

Christmas DayQuil!

So how was your Christmas? Well, I spent it i bed - but not of the good kind, unfortunately. I have been sick - my cold just went all full blast, and thanks to DayQuil, I felt better. I swear, there is something in DayQuil that makes you kind of high. Whatever it is, gimme more of 'em! Right now, I am getting to chug more medication and maybe I can get a decent night of sleep. Last night was kind of rough, but once I got to sleep, it got ok. Weird dreams, though - but that is for another time. Hope you had a merry...

Christmas, Carefully.

It's Christmas Eve, and I am sick. I woke up this morning and felt that the cold has gotten worse overnight, so I scrapped any plans I had today, the last thing I want is for this to get worse, and I really cannot have the flu.  So I need to tread carefully, including not eating a lot during Noche Buena because it just might make me more sick. It is almost fitting for me to get sick on Christmas, but I will survive. 

"Remember

This December,

That love weighs more than gold!"

- Josephine Dodge Daskam Bacon

Just Sing Your Songs

I don't want to sound ungrateful. But one of the Christmas gifts I got this year was the new Lea Salonga CD, "...Your Songs," and, well.. let's just say that I am not very fond of it. To be sure about how I really feel, I played it one last time before writing this review, and my sentiments have not changed. The repertoire is based on an online survey she launched of fans choosing songs they would love for her to sing.


Lea Salonga is one of the Philippine's most beloved exports, so I will not even challenge her artistry. I mean, the gal can definitely sing. But somehow, I always thought she came off better seen than on record. Maybe this is because of her stage background, and let's face it, she is more a musical performer than a recording artist. "...Your Songs" (I am tempted to ask why there are periods before those words, but I won't even bother) Somehow she has a habit of releasing live albums of her (local) concerts, and while the first of them were tolerable, the last ones have been fairly derivative. Well, this one is the worst. Maybe the magic of the show didn't translate on record, but this one is just a pain to listen to. 


The tracks consist of mostly medleys. The ones with Richard Poon (imaginatively titled Pinoy English Love Songs and Pinoy Tagalog Love Songs, as if we couldn't tell the difference) is more of the same 'ol stuff, Filipino pop songs that are interchangeable, some of which Lea herself has recorded on her studio albums. Plus, Richard Poon isn't quite an engaging singer on here, and he has zilch vocal chemistry with Lea. The other duet medley, with Ai Ai De Las Alas, is of mostly Aegis songs, and is practically unlistenable. Never mind Ms. De Las Alas, but Lea herself sounds incredibly strained. Lea's voice, in this recording, is mostly metallic, and I don't know if I should blame bad recording engineering, or...a deteriorating quality in her voice? The "Broadway Songs Medley" consists of predictable fare: her songs from Les Miz, "Memory," and "Defying Gravity." (Ho-hum) She does "Electricity" from Billy Elliot. She need not have bothered.  And when she tackled her take on current pop songs like "Poker Face" and "Rehab," it is akin to Kiri Te Kanawa singing Rhianna. You really sound like you're slummin' it, girl!


But all is not lost. I blame most of the above to her tackling material that is not only not suited to her personality but also to her buttery alto. When she sings on her home turf, like a soaring "Thank You For The Music," or "You've Got To Be Someone" from Chaplin, there is no one better. And as an added bonus, there is a version of "Bayan Ko," which is the same arrangement from her well-applauded number from Corazon Aquino's funeral. Too bad she didn't follow her heart. This could have been a much better recording. 

There's A Placed Call Somewhere

I bet you that somewhere after the first half hour of "Somewhere," the viewer will be either irritated, or fascinated. I admit, it might test your patience. Scenes start and scenes end, and you don't know where they are going, or if the sum of them will really mean to anything. But as you watch, you get more and more sucked into the world it creates, and when you finish the movie, you are forever touched by it. Yes, it does so in a somewhat difficult and oblique way, but that is also its main strength. It's like going on a journey and asking "where are we going," but when you get to your there, you marvel at the destination.


I now really admire Sophia Coppola. I liked even what critics perceive as her weaker efforts, like the Marie Antoinette movie. This movie may not be as expansive as "Lost in Translation," but it is no less profound. We follow Johnny Marco, played with smoldering intensity by Stephen Dorff ,a movie star, going in circles with his life. As he is forced to take care of his 11 year old daughter (Elle Fanning) we see him go through some kind of transition. But we see it abstractly - it's not pointed out - we don't see exactly where he is headed. He is just headed "somewhere." The role is played to perfection, with a mixture of boredom and professionalism by Mr. Dorff. And a star is born with Elle Fanning: her wide-eyed glance is smart and tentative. We think she is playing the mother to his father, but we realize later on it's not what it seems. There is a brilliant scene where the young Ms. Fanning starts crying inside a car  while Mr. Dorff is driving, and the two actors play that scene to perfection, both with astounding authentic vulnerability that is both similar in thought, but distinct in execution. I am still haunted by it. 


I truly hope this film gets some attention. It has been ignored by award-giving bodies, but I hope the Academy will at the very least consider the performances. 

On The Twelfth Day Of Christmas...

...Christmas Cheer! Not. I am not feeling well , a little nauseous, and I feel the beginning of a cold. I tried to go out today but found I didn't want to push it and further get sick. But I will be fine, and Christmas is coming so it cannot be all bad. I don't think I am alone when I say the Holidays came soon this year, and here it is, it's going to pass, and we just have to roll along with the punches and enjoy it as much as we can since it only comes once a year. I just took three Tylenols and hopefully this will help fight whatever creepy crud is starting. I will just rest for a little bit, and then...like it or not, on with the show!

Like snowflakes,
my Christmas memories gather and dance -
each beautiful, unique and too soon gone.

~ Deborah Whipp

On The Eleventh Day Of Christmas

Cheer Bummer

So yeah, I am still a little bummed out by my gift getting lost. It's not an expensive gift at all, but I just seem to be losing my faith on humanity - how there are cruel people in the world. Or there could be some very needy ones, too. I hope that kid who stole that gift really needs it. It's not much, but I can only pray that it gets to good use. And add to the fact that UPS wasn't very helpful. I have always despised them - I could count on one hand the number of times a UPS delivery went smooth, and numerous times when I have had a problem with them. I hope this does not completely siphon my Christmas spirit. There is a slight possibility that it will snow on Saturday, making it a White Christmas, so if that happens, that will restore my Christmas cheer, but either way I will find a way to get it back!

Christmas is a day of meaning and traditions,
a special day spent in the warm circle
of family and friends.

~ Margaret Thatcher

On The Tenth Day Of Christmas

I ordered a gift for my brother and it was sent via UPS Next-Day delivery, and it even cost me a chunk of money for shipping. The item was supposed to be delivered today, so this afternoon I checked the status, and it said was delivered at 10:23 in the morning (I would guess Pacific time) and it also said that the package was "left with boy" (exact words)  This kind of bothered me, so I texted my brother and asked if there was a boy in their house. He said no, there wasn't and I told him that I sent him a package and it was left with a boy. I asked him if he had a neighbor with a kid, and he said he did not think so. He then said that he would go home and check it out - their office is only ten minutes away - and after ten minutes he said there was no package, no boy, nothing. This made me quite ill with sadness - could it really be possible that people would steal Christmas gifts? This is a real life Grinch situation, indeed. I called UPS and they didn't seem to be very enthusiastic in helping me, although they did say they would "look into it," and promised to call me back. Call me a cynic, but I really doubt they would be able to give me a sufficient answer. I could escalate and escalate, but a part of me wonders if all the effort would be worth it. It just makes me very very sad that the gift I chose won't be able to be received. I wonder if this is Mercury Retrograde in action, or just plain bad luck. So much for Christmas spirit....

Reese's Pieces

I really dislike Reese Witherspoon. She gives such joyless performance that I always think, if she seems to be veyr unhappy playing her role, then why should I even bother with her?  I kind of knew I wouldn't like her in "How Do You Know," and I frankly don't even know why I saw this movie. I guess I was bored, and the screening time matched my schedule so I tried my luck. Besides, it also stars Paul Rudd, who is easy on the eyes. How bad could it be?  Well, pretty bad, it turns out. I think I would put this film as one of the worst movies I have seen this year. 


The story is pretty formulaic, girl chooses from good boy vs. better boy, and if the screenplay was more robust, and the acting was more charming, it would have been passable. But my main problem lies with Reese herself - she just comes off annoying, and feeling entitled that I did not really care for her character even a tiny bit. Owen Wilson has the more showy role - he gets the better lines - but his blonde carefree boy routine has gotten tiresome, for me at least. And Paul Rudd does try hard, even incorporating slapstick, but his performance falls flat, probably by osmosis. Even Jack Nicholson seems bored by the whole proceedings - it seems like all his scenes were done in a day. It's too long, too, clocking in at more than two hours. I can think of a dozen things I could have done instead of sitting through this movie. I heard Reese got 15 Million to star in this, and unfortunately it did not open well. I hope producers now realize she is not worth the money. Maybe, if I am lucky, she will just go away. 

On The Ninth Day Of Christmas

A song that breaks my heart...

Heartache Heartbreak

Sometimes you just get hit.  I found myself enthralled by "Till My Heartaches End" when I saw it. The film is nothing special, your typical Star Cinema glossy melodrama, but something in it just touched me. Maybe its really Kim and Gerald's acting - they definitely have improved (especially Gerald) but maybe it stirred up a memory or two in my life. Its basic message is that loving too much is never enough, loving less will be just right. I definitely agree with that. Loving too much is not loving yourself, and when you don't love yourself you can NEVER love somebody else. I know, it's a cliche after a cliche, but I really do believe it. Back to the movie, I loved the open-ended ending, too, although I would think that it was as satisfying for their diehard fans. Could this really be the last Kimerald movie for now? If so, it's a fitting first act finale for their teamup. They will only get better. Speaking with a critical mind, I may not have been jumping up and down with gaiety, but speaking as a hopeless romantic, I was in ecstasy. 

Love Among The Ruined

It took a very long time for "I Love You Phillip Morris" to have theatrical distribution here in the US, and that is a shame because now that it is finally here, the whole film (and the idea of this film) pretty much seems like an afterthought. Starring Jim Carrey, i could see why this film appealed to him: His character, Steven Russell, is bigger than life, and with Jim Carey's manic performance he is even bigger than the biggest bigger than life character you can dream of. The movie treats him that way also. There is a preface in the film that says "this really happened," and slowly and surely you wonder, "did this really happen?" because some parts of the story are so incredulous. Apparently some parts are fictionalized - I would love to know which are - but for the most part the idea of this character is apparently very true. (The character was only even more endearing for me when it was said that he was an embarrassment for then Governor George W. Bush)


I know of a lot of people who despise Jim Carrey, and he won't win new fans here with his performance. There were times that I thought he was essaying his role as The Mask.  But I do wonder if maybe this exaggeration is just the right performance for this black comedy. Ewan McGregor is a lot more tempered down, but it's still a showy performance for him. I think they are a perfect match here, and their scene played out to Johnny Mathis' "Chances Are" is probably one of the most romantic scenes I have scene in a movie this year. The movie isn't perfect, but it has such a manic charm that will get you hooked, and I wish it gains a cult following on video. It should only attract all the wrong audiences. 

On the Eighth Day Of Christmas

The last weekend before Christmas, and not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. Well, like it or not, Christmas is almost here, and the year is ending. I think I am almost finished with shopping, except for a spare thing or two. It is much more painless for me as years go by - I just stop stressing about it, and I just do most everything on line. Just seeing the long lines at the stores give me the creeps. Life gets easier if you make it easy. I have been passing by easy street, for sure. 

Nothing that I can do
will change the structure of the universe.
But maybe, by raising my voice
I can help the greatest of all causes -
goodwill among men and peace on earth.

~ Albert Einstein

The Feeling Of Evening

Michael Cunningham's "By Nightful," is before anything else, a beautifully written book. The prose is almost poetic that a lot of ties I caught myself re-reading a lot of it, not only from fear of missing some of the minute detailed nuances in the writing, but also because the words read and sound wonderful. At first glance, this book may be just another one of those "middle-aged men novel" (maybe that's why I liked it so much?) and one can also argue that the plot is, at best, skimpy. However, it is deeply profound and has multitude astute observations on life, love, and sex that I can forgive any of those faults. 


The main character, Peter Harris, speaks with such a distinct tone that's half psychoanalytic, and half critical, all with a mock ironic tone. He is the kind of guy you want to sit next to at the dinner table. I could imagine the character eviscerating every single guest at the party. But the character is also flawed - he is 44 and in a boring marriage of 20 years  - and is going through a lot of transitional feelings. (middle age, you see) His life is forever changed with the arrival of his wife's 23 year  old brother, "Mizzy" (short for 'The Mistake') and you get a sense of that "I don't know what hit me" plot point that will both infuriate and seduce you at the same time. 


Michael Cunningham has such a feel for characters. By the end of the book, you will feel like you know these people, warts and all. Even minor characters like Uta, his assistant, soar in your imagination. In here, these people are framed by the New York Art World, an environment I really know very little about. After reading this book, I have a small understanding of it, for better or worse. 


This novel will make you think, it will make you angry, it will make you desire someone, but above all, it will make you feel.   

On The Seventh Day Of Christmas

I am a little exhausted right now, and it's a little less than a week before Christmas so can you believe it? I was given some Christmas cheer today. We were walking around the city and I had this uncontrollable urge to pee, so I went to his restaurant on Ninth Avenue and hoped against hope to ask the hostess if I could use their bathroom. She didn't even hesitate and told me to take their stairs going down for the rest rooms. I was so glad, because I was getting to the "very uncomfortable" point already. This just gives me hope that people can be kind if they want to. She could have easily said no, but still she said yes. Thank You ....

Christmas, in its final essence, is for grown people
who have forgotten what children know.
Christmas is for whoever is old enough
to have denied the unquenchable spirit of man.

~ Margaret Cousins

On The Sixth Day Of Christmas

Yes, yes I know - my last "Christmas" message wasn't too Christmassy. I just get very affected when I get bad customer service. Ngiee. So today I made a conscious effort to be nicer, to be kinder, to be gentler. So on the train today, while I was reading on my kindle, this older black couple nudged me and started asking about how the Kindle works. So I went and had this long speech, giving them the pros and cons of it. They were very grateful, and I would venture to guess they had no idea that I was going to go on this long explanation, and after, they seemed to understand how the device worked. The older gentleman said that he was very interested in now, and maybe the older woman will be getting him one for Christmas. I figured it would be good to just give them an objective take on it, and I made sure that my explanation wasn't a "sales talk." I hope this was a very effective "good deed of the day."

This is the message of Christmas:
We are never alone.

~ Taylor Caldwell

On The Fifth Day Of Christmas

Oh, dear God, please help me retain my Christmas Spirit. Believe me, I try, I really try. I have been doing my Christmas shopping online because I hate going to stores, and I especially hate crowds during the holiday season. So I placed an order last night. When I check the order history today, of course the whole order is missing even though I got an email confirmation. And the web site, of course, is not helpful, though I did get a 1800 Customer Service number.  And when I call that number, I of course had to wait 10 minutes to get an agent from...India! So to cut a long story short, I was "assured" my order was processing, even though it is not showing on the website, and "everything is fine." I am trying to not be cynical - Christmas, yuletide, etc - but I cannot help but be. Positive thoughts, please. In the spirit of Christmas, I will learn to let go and let things happen organically. 

Something about an old-fashioned Christmas
is hard to forget.

~ Hugh Downs

On The Fourth Day Of Christmas

I found myself on the Upper West Side today, and saw the Christmas Tree at The Metropolitan Opera:

The Main Event

Initially, I wasn't too interested in seeing "The Fighter." I don't think I was part of its target market when it was being marketed: sports bio pics are not really my thing, and more specifically boxing movies bore me. But then I keep on hearing that the performances in this movie are great, and The Hollywood Foreign Press Association bestowed it with multiple nominations, so I went against my instincts and saw it. 


As a movie, I liked it well enough. I mean, I don't think I would ever want to see the whole thing again anytime soon, but that's just me. The performances, on the other hand, are all memorable. Every single actor here is at the top of his game, and if only for that reason, this film deserves a look. Mark Wahlberg is impressive : I never really got past his beefcake image, and I admit I always underestimate his acting skills, but here he gives that tough guy/sensitive man role a center that he is the heart of the piece. It's an understated performance, especially compared to the more attention grabbing one by Christian Bale. Mr. Bale's method acting instincts work perfectly well here. He supposedly lost a great deal of weight for the role, and his sallowness gives his textured performance a more frightening side. He gives everything to the role, so much so that at times I felt exhausted by his performance. But then, I realize that makes it much more real: could you imagine dealing with a crack-addicted delusional has-been boxer?  It would probably be, yes, exhausting.  Melissa Leo as the manipulative matriarch of the family is all shellac and lipstick, and she gives a tough performance (Can this woman do no wrong?)  There is a climactic scene where she realizes one of her son's true feelings about her, and her reaction is priceless. And Amy Adams, an actress I am not really too fond of,  is riveting here, playing a girlfriend who shows  the Wahlberg character light.  I won't be surprised if Mr. Bale and Ms. Leo end up with some statuettes by next year. 


The story is just a tad predictable for me - I don't think I need to write here how the story ends. David O russell follows every cliche by the book, and does them well. But for me, the real story here is the impeccable acting - my Best Ensemble front runner  for The SAG Awards. 

On The Third Day Of Christmas

I don't know what about Mariah Carey and Christmas, but they seem to be a match.  I thought about that when I was watching the Mariah Carey Christmas Special last night, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I know the jokes, "Ho Ho Ho," and all, and I do realize that Mariah's persona can be overbearing at times, but she just seems so...festive, and there is just the right touch of camp value that it just...works! And you can see her "showing" already - she is probably way past her first trimester. She even sang 'O Come All Ye Faithful' with her mother, who is an opera singer, and it was touching. I mean, who knew that Mariah Carey could instill just a little bit more Christmas in anyone? And of course, I loved that she sang a live version of 'Christmastime Is In The Air Again,' and she even gave a shout out to Marc Shaiman! Merry all-round!

As long as we know in our hearts
what Christmas ought to be,
Christmas is.

~ Eric Sevareid

Wifey

For me, there were really no major major surprises in the Golden Globe nominations announced today, but one thing I was glad to see was Juliana Marguilles' for Actress in a Drama Television Series. Maybe because I am immersing myself again in watching this season's episodes of 'The Good Wife," and I am riveted. And no, I am usually not an avid watcher of these crime/lawyer shows. Maybe because genre wise, you really cannot pigeonhole this show. It's much more than a crime series (although it is a very good one as such) The acting is fantastic across the board, and I am even warming up to Christine Baranski. I know Archie Punjab won the Emmy earlier this year, and I think it's much deserved. The writing is impeccable, and I love that each episode gets me so interested. It's quickly climbing up there as one of my favorite shows airing right now. 

"Observe the wonders as they occur around you. Don't claim them. Feel the artistry moving through and be silent. Don't grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form."

- Rumi

On The Second Day Of Christmas...

Well, here I was, looking for the spirit of Christmas, when it hit me right in the face.  Here are two stories that warmed my heart. First, my friend Roz Corrall wrote this on her status update. She was at Lord & Taylor looking for Christmas cheer when she saw a delivery man drop his gloves. So she went and picked it up and ran after him for ha a block. He thanked her and she went on her merry way. Then she went and glanced at a sidewalk vendor selling pashminas. Before she knew it, the man came up to her and INSISTED she choose one, so he could get it for her. She said at first she resisted, but he was adamant. 


And then I saw this story on Datalounge that just about made me weep. True: the spirit is everywhere. 

I have a friend with MS who loves to be online. Being online is pretty much her only regular social interaction with the outside world. She also LOVES those fb games. She lives several hundred miles away so I can't visit much.

Her computer is dying. It will only work for 10 or 15 min at a time and then won't power up for another hour or two. Because she lives on a fixed income (disability because of MS - she can't work) she can't replace it. Her kids are strapped for cash and need to focus on their kids for Christmas. They would absolutely get her a new computer if they could.

I just sent her a laptop!! I don't make nearly what most of you make, but I have a good job and can afford a luxury here and there - this is one of those luxuries. I already told the adults in my family that Christmas would be kind of skimpy from me this year.

To send it anonomously I went to Best Buy and bought a bunch of their gift certificates. Then I went online and bought the computer through their website. I paid cash for the gift cards, made a new email account, made a new Best Buy account with that email, and sent her the computer. She will never know who gave it to her.

I can just imagine how confused she will be when the box shows up and how happy she will be when she opens it!!!!! I had them send her an email alert that read "Merry Christmas. You are loved."

I don't want her to know I sent it. I think she might not accept it from me since she knows I'm not wealthy. I also don't want the gift to in anyway change our friendship. One of the things I value about her is that she will call me on my shit ... she might hesitate to do that if she knew I sent the computer. I want her to continue looking this gift horse in the mouth :)

Happy Holidays to everyone!

On The First Day Of Christmas...

Well, twelve days of Christmas, to Christmas, for Christmas. I am trying very hard to feel the spirit. I even made a Christmas Playlist, and play it. I know one of these days very soon, the spirit will just hit me. I await it. I am not immune to it, you know. The GLEE Christmas episode the other night was a good precursor to things. It's beginning to look a lot like, you know. 


I think I realize now why I need more conditioner, or why I should condition more often: my hair is longer. I always used to have shorter hair, so I took it for granted. Now, it needs nutrients more, especially during harsh weather, and the cold cold temperatures wil really do it. 


Remember last year I did a "Throw 100 Things Before New Year" ritual? Well, I want to start early this year. I don't think I ever reached 100 items last year, though I never really did have a count count. But just now, I am looking around me and I can think of at least ten things instantly i wouldn't mind throwing away. So I took a garbage bag and started - empty boxes I was keeping for no reason, some older lotions that I know I won't use, booklets for old cell phones. Let the cleansing begin. 

It comes every year and will go on forever.
And along with Christmas
belong the keepsakes and the customs.
Those humble, everyday things a mother clings to,
and ponders, like Mary
in the secret spaces of her heart.

~ Marjorie Holmes

I Go Deep

My hair has been very very dry lately. I only condition once a week, and I guess the cold dry weather has been making it really dry - and I have not even colored my hair lately. My grays are starting to show, so I am getting ready to cover it, but I was getting concerned by its texture lately. So I got some deep conditioning creme, and now...it feels soft and silky again. So now I think I will wait a couple of days, maybe do another treatment, before I color my hair. 

Humor is not a mood but a way of looking at the world.

~ Ludwig Wittgenstein

Summer On A Winter Day

So it's 27 degrees outside and I was reading a book about...summertime? Talk about escapist entertainment! The book was probably made and marketed as a beach read, as it was a fast and easy read (finished it in a half a day) It's about a recently divorced woman who had her husband cheat on her via her...sister. I know it sounds salacious, but it's pretty chaste and..comic. It was kind of funny, written in first person so you got a glimpse of someone's brain and thoughts. I liked it enough, even on a cold winterry day. It even had a gay couple as minor characters, so it's pretty progressive. This book has been on my to-be-read pile for a long time now, so I am just glad to get rid of it there so quickly and I wouldn't the time I gave it as wasted. 

The Wrong Pile

On top of my player, I have two piles of Netflix envelopes: the watched and unwatched ones. So of course, in my haste earlier, I pick up the wrong pile. I should have known better, and I even sealed the discs on my way out, but it never occurred to me that I sent out the "seen" pile  - and that leaves me of course with my already-viewed movies here at home. Could this be the start of mercury Retrograde for me. It "officially" starts tomorrow, but I always start earlier than usual.  It just always turns out that way. Someone asked me today what I wanted for Christmas and I honestly couldn't answer. I truly don't think there's really anything material I want right now. 

"What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise."

- Oscar Wilde

A Hole In Your Heart

My sister had a best friend who lived in California. Connie got married and had a baby, but one day the baby just died - crib death syndrome. No one knew the cause of death, it just sort of happened.  We learned later that the baby's death tore her life apart: she separated from her husband, and after one day, she just disappeared. To this day, no one knew where she went, or if she is even still alive. There was talk that she lost her sanity. 


I got reminded of Connie while watching RABBIT HOLE,  Nicole Kidman's new film. In it, she plays a mother who lost her 4 year old son to a freak vehicular accident. The movie follows her and husband (played by Aaron Eckhart) as they go through their grief. they deal with it differently: Kidman's character has he classic, icy, "guards-up" approach, while Eckhart's wallows in grief, living every second in tear. It shows a great dichotomy between the usual male and female roles, and both Kidman and Eckhart are fantastic. I thought it was great to see Eckhart in a sympathetic, human, emotional role. In here, he is as raw as raw gets, and he bares his soul with such vulnerability that you feel at times he just hits you right in the face. And forget the talk that Kidman's face has lost expression - ever quirk, burrow, and frown is out there. It's a subdued effective performance, though at times, I still see Cynthia Nixon's unforgettable performance (from the stage version) in here. I won't be surprised if they get his and hers Academy nominations for this film. 


Directed with quiet sensitivity by John Cameron Mitchell, who directed Shortbus and Hedwig,  the film opens up the stage play that the story doesn't feel as caged.  It's that rare movie that not only makes you think, it makes you feel. Wherever Connie is today , I hope she sees this film.

Miles Away

A picture post!

Here is another picture from the gathering at Cafe Juanita.

And here is the stage at the Covered Courts with hosts Bianca Gonzales and our batch-mate Jamie Gatchitorena

And how bout this - the entrance to the library, which was our official hangout spot during 2nd year High School

And the Post list - they now include the Jug list there as well ! 

And while they were there...I was miles away 

Freedom is the oxygen
without which science cannot breathe.
~ David Sarnoff

The Journey To Pernil

Two weeks later, I still am savoring the lechon/pernil I ate in San Juan, Puerto Rico.  After we did our tour, I asked the driver for a place where we can have authentic Puerto Rican food, specifically pernil, because that's one of my brother's favorites, and I wanted him to taste the Puerto Rican style of cooking it, since I remembered it to be good. He told me there was a place at the back of the Sheraton hotel, and I was familiar with that area, since that's where we all stayed when we were there two years ago. So I walked around and sure enough, found the place: it's called La Lechonera, and in the window they had fresh roast pig pitted on charcoal. I thought that was a good sign, and so we all went in and ordered, which they sold by the pund inside. It was so so delicious - the skin was crispy, and the meat was the best I have tasted it. It was spiced, and the meat fell off the bones. Even the white meat part, usually bland and rubbery,w as moist, and oh so tasty. For once, I did not mind the white meat. Dare I say it, but it was miles away from the Filipino lechon, the meat part anyway. I know that two years ago, this place was not here yet, because we couldn't have missed this. It was so delicious that I wouldn't mind going back to Puerto Rio again just to taste it again. Well, apparently, according to Tony, they have a branch in Tampa, so that's a slightly shorter trip, ha ha. 

The more we thank God for the blessings we receive,
the more we open the way for further blessings.

~ Betty J. Eadie

Cave

Obama has turned out to be such a disappointment for me.  I remember I was at The Strand a week or so ago and there was this older gentleman there who I overheard trashing him, saying that he has not done anything since he came into office. I kept my mouth shut, only because I know it was pointless to argue with someone like that. I do believe he has done some things, and I respect his efforts. Also, I do not like this "instant gratification" mentality that a lot of Americans have, expecting results right away regardless of the degrees of difficulties. But, yesterday, when Obama caved in to the extension of the Bush Tax Cuts for the rich, I must admit I had a sick feeling in my stomach. Seriously, he needs to grow some balls, and stand up for what he fought for, and what got him elected. Progressive? Change? those words will never describe his Presidency now. 


Plus, Elizabeth Edwards' passing was really a downer. I remember at one point I thought John Edwards was the most Presidentiable of all candidates out there. And of course, I admire her for her courage in her battle with cancer. It's just so...sad.

"The journey is the reward."

-Chinese Proverb

Speak Low

Last year, I was rooting for Colin Firth to win the Oscar for "A Single Man," but he lost. If I were a betting man, I would say that he picks it up this year for "The King's Speech." His performance is pure perfection: nuanced, sympathetic, dignified, regal. It has everything that The Academy likes. He didn't just create a character, he created a soul. You walk out of the movie house feeling like you knew someone. It is one of those definitive performances you will remember for a log time. 


I just wish I liked the movie a much. I am a big Anglophile, but I honestly have never heard that King George VI had a speech impediment. And that part of the story I really appreciated. However, I found much of the direction to be too stagey, and it's more reason that I credit Colin Firth for his performance. The movie could have been over-the-top, but because of his sensitive performance, the whole thing was a lot more believable. Geoffrey Rush straddles the line between overacting, but all in all I like his scenes with Colin. I especially love the dry British wit of the script. It's just, the whole thing is just too too dry. I know it's supposed to be, but....


Still, I hope Mr. Firth doesn't stutter when he accepts his Oscar next year. 

A Sage Offering

Guess what I got in the mail today? A letter asking me to member of SAGE. What is SAGE, you ask? SAGE is Services and Advocacy gor Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered ELDERS. Or in simpler terms, Gay Senior Citizens, or even in simpler terms, Old Gay Man. I don't know whether to laugh or cry, scream or be insulted. Don't I have to e at least 65 to qualify for that? And where the hell did they get information about me, even knowing my street address? Just thinking about it now is making me queasy, but I just gotta laugh it off. Chuck to it to Senioritis, I guess. 
Oprah's new book club selection is Charles Dicken's two novels "Tale Of Two Cities," and "Great Expectations." I can't recall when I first read them, but I do remember reading them, especially "Great.." And then you can download the twin bill of novels for your Kindle for $7.99. But, wait.... aren't these novels already of public domain? If you go to the Charles Dickens page on Amazon, you can separately get both novels for FREE. This thing now is leaving a bad taste in my mouth, because no doubt millions of Oprah minions will be BUYING this book. It's great that she is championing "old school" authors, but I can't help thinking there is something in it for her in all of this. 

"To destroy is always the first step in any creation."

- e. e. Cummings

First Flake

Flurries, while I was out. The first one of the season always attracts some attention - all the local news stations treat it like the second coming. As I was walking, I tried to get a picture, but as you can see, I don't even think I got a single flake. It didn't stick anyway. 

Shoe Choo

I can kind of understand obsession with shoes, so I was looking forward to reading Lauren Baratz-Logsted's BABY NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF SHOES, which was offered as a free Kindle download from Amazon last month. Plus, I have read a lot of books from Red Dress Ink and for the most part have been satisfied. I thought to myself, this should be a fun quick read. Well, it was quick alright. I started the book while waiting to board last week on my way back from Florida, and by the time we were landing in Newark I was at the half-ay point. I wish it had more substance, but it's chick-lit at its lightest. It's about an obsessive-compulsive woman who saw a Jimmy Choo's catalogue and then gets obsessed with picking up shoe after shoe. To do so, she enlists help from her gambler father so she could win the money through playing Blackjack. Along the way, she meets two men, and we get the time old dilemma of choosing between the good boy vs bad boy (we all know how that will turn out) Of course, we get bumps along the way and we go through a will-she or won't-she (I think we know the answer to that as well) I finished the book in one sitting after I came back, and I quickly forgot about it. I almost forgot to write about it, then I saw the jpg fil of the cover which triggered this post. I think it has a very cute cover. 

When Love Takes Over

It's funny how random things can get you thinking. Last night, I was watching this gay movie "Is It Just Me?" and it is one of those mindless gay movies, although this one seems to be harmless, and even sweet. It's about a guy who is hopelessly romantic looking for love in this cold and cynical world. There is a scene where he and his date are talking about their favorite songs, and he mentions how "The Rose" always gets to him. And so I thought, yeah, he is right - that is a song that always gets to me, too. And the lyrics perfectly describe the feeling of love - that reckless, life-shattering thing they all love. I have grown very jaded over the years. Or so I thought, indeed. But somehow, someway, that line, and that song always gets me in a mood. And before going to sleep, I listened to the song, and for a moment there, I felt 17 again, when I was fearless enough to think that yes, there is that ideal person out there who will get me, who will understand me, who will be the person I will spend the rest of my life with. Well, I no longer believe in fairy tales, but sometimes a line or a song can still get to me, I guess. So I woke up this morning slightly wistful, but then again Sunday mornings can do that to anyone.

"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."

- Catherine Ponder

Letters Received

I don't ever remember ever received a thank you note from a cruise line before, but here it is, I got an email from Celebrity:

RE:  Booking # 2874861

       CELEBRITY SOLSTICE/11/21/2010    

Dear Leonel,

Welcome home and thank you again, for sailing with Celebrity Cruises.  I trust it was a truly remarkable experience that left you fulfilled, happy, and totally rejuvenated. 

I hope you found the planning process to be smooth and my services valuable.  It was my pleasure to be of assistance to you.

Warm Regards,

And I got this bizarre email from an ex-coworker, which I suspect is SPAM. It said that she is stuck somewhere in Nigeria, and has lost all her money, can I please send her some money via wire. I mean, first of all, I know her, and she would never ever go to Nigeria. Secondly, Nigeria. Enough said. 

In later life, as in earlier,
only a few persons influence the formation
of our character;
the multitude pass us by like a distant army.

~ Jean Paul Richter