Flight Cancelled

I woke up this morning with my nose bleeding, and I knew it wasn't a good sign. Well, a couple of hours later I received an email from Continental saying my flight that leaves tomorrow morning has been cancelled. I presume it is because of the weather conditions in the Midwest - they are expecting a major snowstorm. So I set out trying to find out what would happen to my flight - will I be rescheduled, will be left out in the rain, will I be ok? After being on hold for eternity, I get an agent and just as we were discussing what flights are available, she told me to get off the website as someone else was in my account. Well, it turns out that someone in Continental has already booked me on a flight on Friday morning! Friday! That gives me a whole week here again. I have mixed emotions. I mean, I like that I am still here, but I am concerned about my dad. This whole thing is on my mind right now, and I don't know if I could *fully* enjoy my extension here. They say be careful what you wish for...

"Turn your wounds into wisdom."  

- Oprah Winfrey

L Is For Love

"The Lover's Dictionary" by Steven Levitan is certainly a unique book.  It's a love tory told in a first person account under "headings" of dictionary entries. Some are meant to be derivative, others ironic. They range from a word, a one-liner, a paragraph, a memory. They can be cute, serious, funny, touching.  For example:

abstraction, n.

Love is one kind of abstraction. And then there are those nights when I sleep alone, when I curl into a pillow that isn't you, when I hear the tiptoe sounds that aren't yours. It's not as if I can conjure you there completely. I must embrace the idea of you instead. 


or...


antsy, adj.

I swore I would never take you to the opera again.


The heart of the story is simple : boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, girl cheats, boy and girl separate. But the story is told in such a personal manner so raw you really feel the emotions, and in the end even in the banality of it all you are heartbroken. This is a cute little book that will remind you of that feeling you have when you first fell in love and then got hurt. Yes, the form of the novel is gimmicky, but it has enough heart to overcome that.


BC/8

A West Coast Thang

Maybe it's a West Coast thang, but one thing I noticed here on the West Coast is that the sun comes up earlier. I wake up most mornings and the sun is shining brightly - I guess that's the thing about living in the desert. I must really be getting old because I don't mind it at all. Retirement mindset, anyone? I keep on telling my brother I have changed. In his mind, I still lead a fun-loving single lifestyle, when in reality, I have moved on from that a while back. I have mostly settled in, and now just crave a quiet existence. 


It's upsetting, this thing in Egypt, but then maybe that's what the country needs for change to come through for the country. I have written about my disappointment when I went there. It's a beautiful country with the most beautiful pyramids, but the way the country was run. And now, I read the museums are being looted. It's quite sad, but hopefully something really good will coem out of this. There just has to. 

"Intentions compressed into words enfold magical power."

- Deepak Chopra

Romance Masala

I hate Indian food, and a lot of Indian culture si i was as surprised as anyone else when I found myself reading "Girl Most Likely To," which has a young Indian woman as the main character. But, I must admit, that the storytelling got me hooked. This is a well-written little book, and I found myself going back to it a couple of times. It's not as shallow and predictable as other chick lit releases (maybe because it's from Red Dress Ink?) and even has depth, exploring issues as diverse as culture barriers, insider trading, and claustrophobia. (Seriously) There is a brief episode in the middle that was a little too new-age spiritual for my taste (and almost a direct ripoff from 'Eat Pray Love') but it's not a deal breaker. On a small level, this book did succeed. 

BC/7

In Between

In between everything here, I even managed to see a movie. My brother took me to this shopping complex/nightclub center called Town Square because he thought I would like to see the movie theaters there, since he says I probably would be spending a lot of time there in the future. Well, I was pretty impressed with the movie houses. It's a cineplex type of arrangement, but the screens are great - wide and cinemascope like. And the movie we chose, "No Strings Attached" is a movie I probably would have chosen myself normally. So, I kind of maybe made this a barometer of how my future experiences will be. Well, it also looked like I was there  on "date night." All the lovebirds were out in force...except for me. Is this a precursor of what's to come? Well, I am used to it by now anyway, so it shouldn't be a big deal. I have learned to accept things as they are and not ask for anything else. 

I'll String Along With You

This was one of those movies whose trailer I saw incessantly, and at some point my interest in it almost got so saturated. I was even telling myself that I should probably skip this one and wait for it to go on video. But I did see it, and I was glad I did. It's a cute movie, despite its marketing content. I have read a lot of comments about it resuscitating the flailing rom-com genre. I think I may have even said once or twice that these type of movies have stopped appealing to me. And I even thought it was me. Now I realized that the right material can touch. "No Strings Attached" certainly did me in. Directed by Ivan Reitman, the movie even shows glimpses of smart.  The screenplay has a lot of wit, and it has just a little bit to say: that even if we put all our guards up to escape from hurt, sometimes doing that will cause more hurt. Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher give google eyes and pouty pusses, and they are adorable. But I still don't know if I am truly impressed by Portman's acting. I thought she was a little annoying, but then again her character is written as such, so I don't know if that makes her a good actress. Kutcher is appealing and handsome in a puppy dog kind of way, and you know how I am a sucker for those. I am not totally convinced by their chemistry, but it's not nauseating. I am glad this movie brought a little bit of warmth in a cold winter night - strings attached. 

Where You Lead I Will Follow

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that I am settling well in the office. I am on my fourth day right now, and it is going swimmingly. It is a very small family operation so it's smaller in scale to what I have done before. However, in a lot of other ways it's larger, because this is the family's money we are handling, and each cent counts so all should best be careful. But I am liking it, and day after day I am getting more and more excited about the move. You know what? It just feels right. If I were to trust my instincts on this one, that is. And I do. I trust my instincts. And with this snow storm after snow storm weather in the East Coast, it just makes total weather sense. I am glad I made this decision, and I think the angels and the universe for leading me correctly. You really just have to trust the Lord.


That being said, Las Vegas is really such a food town. Our meals are expensed to the company, so that will save me a lot of money there. However, the family LOVES going to buffets and as much as they are great and delicious, they are just too much for one stomach. I told them that when I finally settle, I cannot handle that since most nights I will just go home.

Two Buffets

The LV Chapter, Introduced

A funny thing happened today at the brother's work. I was there - the new guy, of course - and apparently one of his nurses is this flamboyant gay guy. Upon seeing me, he said, "Oh ! is the...." and then he burst into laughter. Obviously, he has been "briefed" about me and this just confirmed whatever his suspicions or expectations were. He told me that I definitely looked like a New Yorker, whatever he means by that. I don't even know if he was trying to be ironic - he is of the parlor side of things, if you know what I mean. But as Pipo told me later on, at least now there will be someone I can kind of ask around if ever we want to know about the "untapped scene" over here. And that quoted term came straight from Pipo, since God knows I really am not too concerned about that scene. I am getting the hand of things now, and it is because I have no choice in the matter. It's all about moving forward from now on.  The next couple of days may be busier - we will be looking at different places, plus it will be busier at the office. Around the end of the month, apparently, it gets more hectic because the payroll for the nurses will have to be handled. I think the business is good for me. 

"It's the beautiful minds of this world that win over beautiful faces. They win hearts by winning minds..."

- Anna Karina

Some Thing Stay The Same

Well, here I am, on the West Coast, and my sleeping patterns are all still fucked up. Woke up at 3am-ish, and can't go back to sleep. So I figured what the hell. It's been kinda good-hectic since I arrived yesterday. We started looking at places, and they are all very nice, and compared to East Coast pricing, is refreshingly reasonable. It's all starting to make good sense to me, and I think now there's no sense in belaboring things. Places have more or less the same pricing, so I told myself just choose one you like, and stick with it. I hope to make a decision by the time I leave to go back East next week. And then to really start the packin/shipping full bast. Last night we had dinner at Studio B, which is the buffet at the M Hotel, which I think I mentioned as supposedly one of the best (if not the) buffets in Vegas. Well, just looking at the food was astounding. Every cuisine imaginable was represented. I love the Greek section, and even their thin crust pizza is wonderful - I love crisp thin crusts. And they had a roasted turkey thing that was so simple, but I couldn't get enough of it - the meat was so tasty. Sometimes the simpler things just work the best. And they had free liquor, too. Well, wine and beer, and I ad their red, and it wasn't bad at all, and I think it kind of helped me sleep a little earlier. If only I did not wake up in the middle of the night, but thats another story.

Whatever you want to do, do it now.
There are only so many tomorrows.

~ Unknown

At The M

Here I am at the buffet at M Hotel, allegedly the best buffet in Las Vegas!

The Major Major Decision

Tomorrow I take a big step on a major major new journey. And why, again, did I choose an extremely early flight? (Easy answer: it's cheap!) And the temperature tomorrow morning will be arctic: one freaking degree! I asked my cousin if she would take me to the airport at that ungodly hour, and she said sure. Now I kind of feel bad and thinking maybe I should just take a cab. But we shall just suck it in and just do what we can. It's all starting to become more and more real, and for better or worse, this is really it. I am a lot anxious, if I were to be honest about things, but it is more of the "will I able to pull it off" variety than anything else. Right this very minute, I just have Laura Fygi singing in the background, just to calm things over. I just hope I get to sleep the whole time, and hopefully wake up when it's tame for landing.  So, here we go!

"As a rose can't live without the rain

So a heart can't love

without risk of pain"

- Anon

Privatized

A long time ago, I made my Twitter feed "Private" because I thought twitter is a lot more open on the Internet, and I remember one of the places I sent an job application to requested to follow me. So I took my name out of my username, and locked all my tweets. Plus, I follow a whole bunch of, shall we say, performers there and sometimes banter with them. Some self-righteous folks may not appreciate that. So of course, I now have all these people requesting to follow me, and when I checked today there were 200+ requests. I mean, who the hell are these people. I thought a lot of them would be spammers or business solicitors, but I took a glance at some of the profiles and a good number of tem are "real" people. I mean, I don't even regularly tweet except for the occasional FourSquare check-in. What possesses these people to want to follow me?


Since we got snow again, I ordered pizza. From Domino's. And I haven't done that in the longest time, and ordering from their web site was great. You have this thing where you know exactly where your order is, from the time it gets prepared, backed, quality control checked, and then sent out for delivery. It was mildly fascinating. And I dare say I like their crispy thin crust, which reminded me a lot like Shakey's. The sauce is a little trite, but all in all, it was quite good for the price, and I even got a coupon: 2 medium pizzas for $7.99. A bargain!

A gentle word, a kind look,
a good-natured smile
can work wonders and accomplish miracles.

~ William Hazlitt

Pink Wolves

I have often wondered how two people can write fiction. I think writing a story is such a personal thing. I mean, I can understand if it's non-fiction or reporting. One person will do research on one side, while the other does the next, but forming a story? Well, I just finished reading "Wolves In Chic Clothing," which was written by two people: Carrie Karasyov and Jill Kargman, and these two even live in opposite sides of the country, so double my bewilderment. It was a zippy read: I finished in less than a day. However, there isn't much to the story - a young woman is used as a pawn between two egotistical friends who are just bored with their upper-crust life. I thought this was going to be one of those Devil-wears-prada kind of stories, but it's not even that. It's a sort-of Eliza Doolittle inspired story, but not even fully realized. A lot of the characters are half-baked stereotypes, and that includes the main character. You get swept into the fancy backgrounds and trappings, but ultimately it's just not an interesting enough of a story. These two authors never met a cliche they didn't, and it's only a consolation for me that the gay en in this novel are the ones who aren't as shallow as the other characters. Plus, I was amazed by the sheer number of grammatical errors in the book. You would think that with two authors, one of four eyes would catch them. It's a mindless read, wrapped in pink wrapping paper. 


BC/6

One's Heart In A Bucket

Well... it looks like a cruise to the Baltic may be a lot closer to reality come September. If it does happen, and I am crossing my fingers it does, this will be another travel dream come true. I cannot believe that I have so far checked a lot of items from my travel bucket list, and I have been so fortunate. My list is far from being done, but it is heartening to find I am checking things off. I think St. Petersburg would be a coup - and I am salivating at the thought of all our pictorials. If it happens, it should be a blast. 

But now, it looks like I have added a star to an item on my list, and it's all thanks to...Oprah! She just finished her "Ultimate Australian Adventure" and now I am itching to go there. Sydney looks so beautiful, and I couldn't help but gasp when I saw the sights. And I need to go tour the Great Barrier Reef, one of the most beautiful wonders of the world! And White Haven Beach with its whitest sands the color of snow - they were just too much for one heart.  

I am just so thankful I found a true traveling buddy with Jeff. We understand each other very well, and have the same taste in traveling. Oh, and P.S. I know that the picture is of the Grand Canal in Venice. I put that in because that was one of the places I traveled with Jeff, and it was a beautiful memory. 

Excess Excised

As I intensify my packing, I think it's interesting what I choose to keep, and what I choose to discard. I think I have said it before, but I find myself feeling very unsentimental about a lot of things this time around. This can go, that can be thrown away. I found that as I age, I try to eliminate a lot of excess baggage. I always say that experience now trumps most material things, as those can never be taken away from me. My brother has started sending me  listings of places to live there as well, and I am astounded to find how inexpensive places are, and of course how modern housing there compared to here. I laughed when my brother told me that he was only sending me places tat are close to malls. Why, I asked? Well, he said that he knows I see a lot of movies so he wanted to pick a place that has easy access to the cinemas. I thought that was true, but I never really thought of it and never opined it to him, of course. We won't have any furniture as we start, of course. But in time. In time. I was talking to Jimmy about the move, and he says that he will miss me. I countered, but I never see you anyway. He told me that he knew he could always call me if he wanted to see me, but when I move, he won't have that convenience anymore. Well, I know I will visit frequently. It's still a weird feeling, all of this, but I am getting more and more used to the idea. And a big part of me is quite looking forward to the change. 

"Happiness is a Butterfly which, when pursued is just beyond your grasp... but if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."

- Nathaniel Hawthorne

Asked And Told

This book is another one from my TBR pile. I have had it for a while, and the pages have even started to yellow. I remember buying this book, too. And what sold me on the book? The salacious title: "Secrets Of A Gay Marine Porn Star." I had visions of this book being so hot hot hot.  But I also remember starting to read it and found it to not hold my attention. So the book just ended up in my ever-growing pile. But as I started to look at that pile and pull out things, I chose this one. I started reading it, and it actually made a lot more sense to me, being that DADT was just revealed and he talks about his experience with that during his tenure. I thought that part was pretty interesting - the struggles for him to hide his sexuality in a DADT environment. It almost came naturally from him - he grew up and struggled in a fundamentalist Christian background, going to school, and later being expelled from the infamous Bob Jones University.  However, when he writes about the rest of his life, his struggles in dealing with the WeHo gay life, the book lost steam for me. We all have our struggles, we all have our issues, but he was getting up there and went from one hot mess experience to another. It became repetitive and he just became a gay cliche. Plus, this book needed some serious editing. Weighing in at almost 500 pages, there are stories upon stories that got in the book just because. At some point, they became minutiae. And I know I would have liked more to read on the "porn star" but it was pretty scant because, well, truthfully he wasn't much of a porn star: he did 4 scenes from semi-obscure studios. And really, for him to pump this up on the title is close to false advertising. That said, the book is pretty well-written. You can really sense that Mr. Merritt has a passion for writing.  I just question whether we really needed to read about every single wedding he ever went to. This book did open my eyes on a lot of things. I know that before, I really wasn't into the political issue of DADT, and now I can understand how very important for that policy be repealed. It's history now, but our history defines us. 

BC/5

Grey Away

I saw a reflection of myself today and got shocked: as my gay grew longer (and it is pretty long now) the grey has also shown. I know I am way due for a color touch-up, and I have been meaning to do it, but seeing it really startled me. It is mortality staring at you right at the face. I better do it before I leave on my trip on Monday, too. 


And can I just say I am so over the snow? They say we may get soem again on Friday. I am so.over.it!

"Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life. Meaning does not lie in things. Meaning lies in us."

- Marianne Williamson

Love, Me? Yeah Right.

I still have a bitter taste in my mouth from the "Tanging Ina" movie, so I took my time watching "My Amnesia Girl," although friends have praised it to high heavens. Well, I regret now in my procrastination in seeing it, because, for my money, this was the most romantic movie I have seen in a long time. Yes, I used superlatives. 


Make no mistake, it's a formula movie. Director Cathy Garcia Molina can probably do these movies in her sleep. And her mannerisms show: there's always a scene in the rain, there's always a pivotal birthday party, there are always sidekicks. But something sparkled here - this movie doesn't want to take itself too seriously, and in the end we got a most seriously light and frothy concoction that is just perfect. At first glance, you would think there would be nil chemistry between John Lloyd Cruz and Toni Gonzaga, but these are two of the best younger actors around, and darn it if they try every trick in the book to make their tandem spark.  They are perfect together. I have always had a fondness for Ms. Gonzaga for I think she is one of the most instinctive comedic actresses around. That Mr. Cruz is good is a given, but he has so much fun in his role you can't help but share in the gaiety. There is a part of me that thought the two characters may never be a couple - they are both too free and fancy - but all we need is a wink from him, and a guffaw from her, and we are instantly sold. 


I felt like a fool laughing and crying along. I have been pretty jaded lately, but I must confess this movie got me. I found myself feeling like I was in love. I very rarely get this nowadays, and I was damning this movie for making me go there. Just for that alone, I give this movie the highest grade I can. 

Bombet's Someday

oz someday, someone's gonna love me 
The way, i wanted you to need me 
Someday, someone's gonna take your place 
One day I'll forget about you 
You'll see, i won't even miss you 
Someday, someday

Never As Good As The First Time

Saw the American version of "Skins" tonight on MTV, and...why do they do this? This british show was a favorite of mine, and the American version's pilot episode is an almost verbatim copy of the British pilot episode. I think that will be their biggest mistake. People, like myself, who love the British version will think this is just a poor copy - these characters are forever etched in mind.  I think it would have been more interesting if they "adapted" it more than copied it - made it more relatable to American audiences, for example. I personally don't think the average American - Middle America, if you will - will understand the machinations of the British working class, so why even bother? And compared to MTV's other hit, "Jersey Shore," these Skins kids are just too .... boring. I don't know if I will remember or be inclined to watch the next episodes. 


Speaking of television, I am watching the first season of "Hot in Cleveland," and it's just...bad. It has a great cast: Wendy Malick, Valerie Bertinelli, Jane Leeds, Betty White! But the writing is so sub-par and even though I loved the "innocence" of the multi-camera sitcom set-up, I can't help but feel it's a little dated. I love classic and vintage like the rest of us, but dated, I don't know if I can do. 

"It is only when we forget all our learning that we begin to know."

- Henry David Thoreau

Clogged

I took a shower yesterday and all of a sudden the water won't come down. I don't know why, but it just got clogged. So there's the whole drama about getting Drano and pumping and as of right now, it seems we won't need a plumber, but that could very well change by tomorrow morning. I don't want to know. So I spend tonight watching The Golden Globes and I am crying at everything: Chris Colfer and Annette Benning's speeches, for example. Even when they showed Michele Williams I was tearing up. What the fuck is wrong with me?

"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection."

- Buddha,

My Stuffed Gorilla

This is a huge stuffed gorilla. Tim gave it to me Christmas 1997. He said he searched high and low looking for a gift for me when he saw this at FAO Schwarz and thought it would be the perfect Christmas gift for me. I have kept it all this time, and today I let go and gave it to my niece/goddaughter. I told her, "Take care of him."  It is one of the casualties of the move - no sense of shipping it half way across the country. Maybe in a way, it is a way of letting go of my first real love. Sweet Dream, my dear. 

From The Outside Looking In

Actresses who write : that's a different subgenre. Joan Collins, Paris Hilton, one of those girls from The Hills. I am sure there are many more. Now you can add Courtney-Thorne Smith to that list. This book was released in 2007, and I have had this ARC since around that time. I remember getting it at the dollar carts in The Strand.  I also remember starting to read this book and here we are, almost four years later and I finally finished it. Believe you me, I have tried numerous times just throwing it away, but the anal retentive in me just wants to finish it. Plus, I always keep on hearing Maya Angelou telling people "just read" when one is tempted to abando a book. "Outside In" is about an actress who is on a nighttime soap. So in my mind this character is Courtney herself, and the show is Melrose Place. I think when she was promoting this book she was talking about how a lot of actresses starve themselves for the camera. That would have been a more interesting topic to read about than this book about an insecure actress. What we get is a badly-written (like grammatically bad)  run-of-the mill chick lit. Kate, the character, is just so pathetic and dumb that you wonder how she became as successful as she was in the book. I can not remember how many times I rolled my eyes, and I just wanted to smack her. This went on and on up to about 80% of the book that I kept on asking myself - is this going to end? Why would you want to spend your time with such a sad sack?  I always say that I always take something, a little something from a book I read and the only thing I could think of here is I wanted to explore more the life of Vivian Leigh because they kept on talking about how she had a dramatic life.  Besides that, there's not much to take from this book. 

Up Up And Awake

I am still awake, and my sleeping patterns are again messed up. Whenever I tell people about my insomnia, they always ask me "Are you up thinking?" and sometimes I have to ask myself if I am, but really...no. I just have this habit now of napping in the early evening, around 6 pm and this totally screws up my sleeping habits.  So I am up, and believe me, I try hard to be asleep, and do every trick in the book. I should really go and take some melatonin but I keep on forgetting. And I know that the last thing I should be doing is being on the computer but what can I do? My black and blue bruise still hurts when you press it, but why do I press it if I know it will just instill more pain? These are all the burning questions in my mind right now, at 3:48 a.m. 

"If I create from the heart, nearly everything works; if from the head, almost nothing."

- Marc Chagal

Stalkerazzi

I was looking at the NCl website (not to bead a dead horse, I know) and I clicked on a couple of itineraries because I was researching something for Jeff. Imagine my surprise the next day when I  got a call from a sales representative from them saying "I see that you were on the website checking..." and my first impression was that I felt that I was violated. So now people are looking at what and where I was going on their sites? Kind of stalker-ish, no? Jeff explained to me that it has become normal practice now for a lot of merchants. I have noticed that I have gotten emails from Amazon sometimes that started "since you checked out so and so, we think you will like..." but I think that's even a little different since most times I welcome the suggestion, and they only do it via email. To get a direct solicitation phone call was something totally different. That being said,  I think their strategy worked ! This really piqued my interest with a specific sailing that Jeff and I had in mind, and the offering is pretty good: pretty reasonable price point, a major upgrade, and the destination can't be beat. I am torn beween being horrified and thankful. This just goes to show how marketing techniques have changed in the Internet age.

I don't know why, but I am seriously craving spaghetti with meatballs.

I Dream Of Camille

I woke up this evening from a nap, and I had the most bizarre dream, and it involved Camille Grammer. The details have become sketchy since, but I swear she was in my dreams. Or should I call it nightmare. Of course, I woke up twenty minutes before this week's episode of RWOBH, where she talks about her breakup with Kelsey. It's all just so weird and bizarre. Pipo and I agree that she is fascinating and prefer her over Kyle. 


And I shipped - well, ground-shipped - the first box today. It was sort of a struggle rolling it with my cart through the snow, but I persevered, and I am ok. At one point, I tripped with it, and the metal cart hit my shin, but I recovered. Now I see that there is a big black and blue bruise on my knee. I mistakenly pressed it, and it was painful!

"Life is without meaning. You bring the meaning to it. The meaning of life is whatever you ascribe it to be. Being alive is the meaning."

- Joseph Campbell

Eloquence

1. Not to sound too much like a nelly, but I thought the President's speech was eloquent, and he tapped into the nation's psyche, my psyche, and touched me.  When he introduced the gay intern hero, I just about burst into a crying mess. I have soured on Obama lately, and I was never really a huge fan to begin with, but he was at his best tonight. Now if only Palin would just go far, far away, then we will all be fine. 


2. Now that I am ticketed to go to LAS on the 24th, it is looking like I will be there again on President's Day Weekend. My brother pays $50 per pet for shelter when they are away, and for three days it will cost him $300.00, which is below the plane fare he would pay if I would go down there. He asked me if I was comfortable doing it, and I feel kinda funny being all alone in the house with just the dogs. He says, though that there is a Town Square about five minutes away, and I could go there to pass time. It is supposedly a huge mall, with movie theaters, restaurants, and a pretty popular one too, apparently. 

"You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore."

- Christopher Columbus

Bottoms Up!

I have had this book, "Tush" for a while now, but for some reason or another, I have not read it.  I remember getting it for very cheap, like a dollar or even less. When I was looking for books to read for my book challenge, I pulled this out. It is almost ironic that I finished it today, as I look at out the window and I see snow. Why? Because "Tush" is a summer gay novel, set in one of the gayest of gay summer meccas: Provincetown, Massachusetts. And it started out to be quite fun, too. A gay astrologer uses wit and charm to "lure" guys with nice butts - that's his fetish. It was amusing to see him all kinds of tricks so he could feel the asses of these men. But then at one point, it turned really creepy. He lures a date to Provincetown, and then he gets creepy. He starts stalking a local guy and uses all kinds of maneuvers after he gets rejected by all the men he meets. It was at this point that I started to dislike the character. Maybe when I was younger, I would have tolerated a lot of the crap he was pulling. But as I read it now, I just started to feel angry at him. A lot of his shenanigans were foolish - changing people's pills, drugging his exes, burning a house - that I stopped rooting for him. As a matter of fact, almost all the characters are pretty despicable in character that when good things started happening to them (in spite of their evil deeds) I started to roll my eyes. There are good things about the book - this was written in 1996, so a lto of the P-Town references are familiar, from the bars to the hotels. I discovered that the cemetery on Bradford Street apparently has one of the nicest views in the city, and now I can't wait to check that out when we get back there. The book was not a 100% loss. 


BC/3

Restoration

The quality of customer service has really deteriorated. I called NCl today to inquire about my cousins' reservations for their Med Cruise for early Summer. Among other thing, I asked the representative, Sergio, what the price point differences would be if, say, they upgraded to a mini suite. Then all of a sudden, our call got disconnected. Fine, okay, I assume it's an accident, and I call back. The next representative looks up the reservation again, and all of a sudden she tells me that the room is now in a "back balcony," and I tell her it was never here, even quoting the category and room number where they were in. Apparently, Sergio, in a most bewildering act, changed the reservations when he was researching different quotes, and pressed "Save" in error, and of course, the old room is now gone. I got livid at them - first of all, who is he to change the reservation? I, myself, do not even have authorization to make changes in it since it is not even mine. They were apologetic and explained to me they are "working on it." I told them that is not unacceptable. I told them I would accept nothing less than having them put the reservation back in the same room where they were. After I got put on hold, they were able to "restore" the reservation. But, really, why do people have to endure something like this? Oh, and since today is a "snow day" (thirteen inches dumped overnight) the jury is still out on whether the post office will decide if they will deliver mail. Whatever happened to "Neither snow nor sleet.." Never mind. 

Our stories arise from our hearts and out souls.
In this sense, telling our stories
becomes a sacred gesture opening a clear way
to that deep, ecstatic center
where we are most uniquely our selves,
individual and unique, and yet are ourselves,
joined together at the heart.

~ Susan Wittig Albert

There Are No Signs

I packed my first box today. It was a 16 x 16 x 16, and I started filling it with mostly clothes - summer clothes which I probably won't be wearing until after April. It was a ritual of sorts, the packing, and I think I needed to do it more for the mind rather than the practicality of it. Because once I have it in my mind that I have started, I will get more focused on it. This will be a tough next couple of months. And I will make my first trip there on January 24th, for a week, where I will have to make he first of the preliminary preparations. 


And five years ago today, I met Jimmy. I don't remember the boy, or the feeling anymore. But when I woke up this morning and started flipping channels, I accidentally ran upon the final scene of "Prime," and I asked myself if it was some kind of sign. It's all just a coincidence, I finally realized. There are no signs. 


I am glad that "The Good Wife" was back tonight, and with a great episode to boot. I love the way that the show is both intelligent and emotional, because most shows I love are either one or the other.  

All you really need is love,
but a little chocolate now and then
doesn't hurt.

~ Charles Schulz

The Only Mom

My cousin Wennie told me she was getting a little depressed and she asked me to accompany her watching a movie - "Ang Tanging Ina Mo (Last Na To)" - because she said she wanted to see something funny. I made an internal grunt, since I have never been a fan of this series, but I wanted to be a good cousin so I went anyway. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I really have not seen any of the earlier movies, and hoped the plot points would not rely on them.


Well, this movie won "Best Picture" at the recently concluded Metro Manila Film Festival, and I shudder to think that the quality of the family movies have sunk this low. It's a holiday movie, for sure, but the director has substituted quantity for quality in this movie. He has thrown everything in it, kitchen sink and all. For me, it is one big hot mess. But, it wasn't that bad of an experience. A lot of the topical jokes fly over me, and let's just be frank about it, I am not really the target market for this movie, because I am not a fan of Ai Ai De Las Alas. If this movie is truly the best they coud offer, then shame on you, Philippines. 


Ms. De Las Alas, as a comedienne, employs a style that for me is so exhausting. She tries hard, really really hard, to deliver what she needs to. Almost all of the time it goes to overkill. I don't think she has ever heard the word "subtle" in her life. Her screams have more decibles,  her outstretched arms cross channels, her mouth as big as its ocean. It takes every inch of my energy, and by the time the movie is over, I felt like I needed two days of sleep. It doesn't help that the movie is framed by a reed thin plot line that can barely hold one of her teeth. Honestly, I should give them props for daring to make a movie out of the hodge podge of scenes they shot - it literally looks like they shot all of it in a day. As her side kick, Eugene Domingo is a more intelligent actress, and steals some scenes from Ms. De Las Alas, but they come few and far between. I truly hope this is really the last of the series, but then again, I don't give a fuck. 

A Space Of Silence

Let's observe a space of silence for those who perished in Tucson, Arizona

Cusp

I am at the cusp of some major decisions that will probably affect the rest of my life and I am strangely calm about it. Maybe because, as Jeff puts it, "it's a no-brainer," and Jeff is as smart and practical as they come.  I didn't even know that the USPS delivers on Sundays, but apparently they do, for I got a package today from Pipo of some cute things. He sent me the Ateneo 85 Reunion T-shirt that he got for me during the Homecoming, and he sent me also this cute mirror with LED lights that just screams "Superstar!" when you look at yourself in it. It is so very "me" and I thank you again, Pipo for the wonderful gifts.  And tonight's episode of "Brothers & Sisters" was particularly good, and I think they are back on their stride. Plus, it looks like we are getting another major snowstorm Tuesday night, and with it goes more inconvenience.  But things always work out for the best. They truly always do, if you have faith.

Seemingly Entitled

A couple of months ago, I had lunch with a friend who I hadn't seen in years because he moved to Upstate New York. We were discussing how our lives have changed since when we last saw each other, and I was telling him how I had an epiphany - that in my life right now, I have had a change in priorities. I told him how now I value experience more than material things. Over the years, I have realized that material things fade, but memories of life experiences can never leave you. No one can ever take those away from you. He told me that he saw a big difference in me, and in those years when he knew me, he thought I valued too much emphasis on material things. I laughed his comments off, since I know it was very true. So I was very surprised to get a package from him Christmas time. He sent me a book, "The Privileges," by Jonathan Dee. He told me he thought of me while he read it, and told me that he wanted me to read the book, so he gave me his copy, and then greeted me Merry Christmas. 


The first ting I will say about the book is that it is so impeccable written. Sentences flow like golden champagne - they sparkle, they have zing, they have elegance. Voices change in mid-paragraphs and they are done in such an organic way that you feel every single note of every single feeling conveyed. It is a modern morality tale of money, greed, and how the rich live. I will not pretend and say I am familiar with how these lives are lived, but at the same time, it held no big revelations wither. Mr. Dee fleshes out the four main characters in the book pretty well, yet we somehow don't really get too close to them. And he may not have the best fondness for them either, and yes they are morally bankrupt. I thought I didn't to read a story about a family of privileged, seemingly-entitled people, and right you are they are as unsympathetic - and pathetic - as I thought they were going to be. Yet, I was immediately drawn to them, caring enough to see what would happen to their lives. In the end, nothing major really happens to them, and we don't really know much more, yet I found myself very entertained by the novel, and...it made me think. I devoured the whole book in a little more than a day, and I even dreamt about them. When I turned the last page over, I even missed them...

BC/2

Men Oh Pause

Last night, I woke up shivering (like a little girl quivering) It was really not so unusual, because it was 15 degrees outside, but it was just such a weird feeling. I wondered if I was getting sick again, and even contemplated on getting up and taking Tylenol, but I just bundled up and either I fell asleep and I guess the chills subsided...only to wake up hot and sweaty. Am I getting hot flashes now? Is it the start of menopause? Oy, I tell you. Maybe I should play Katy Perry's "Hot And Cold."


What is this world coming to? Dead birds falling from the sky, thousands of crabs washing ashore, dove turtle doves dead, and now an Arizona Congresswoman getting shot in broad daylight. Could this really be the start of the end of the world? It cannot be all coincidence, can it? Someone is sending us a message, and maybe that message is that Sarah Palin should be silenced forever.  Yeah, I think that's what it is...


Oh, and I just cannot let another day pass by without another picture from the L & L Love Story:

Aral - A Bombet Birthday Special

Like Grits

I have never been a fan of Westerns. Maybe because I am too fey for it? I, also, have never been a fan of the Coen Brothers' movies. Something about their wit is so pretentious for my tastes that I just don't get them. I respect them and the people who stand by their work, but I have tried and tried, and can only shrug and say, "not for me." So I do not know why I sat through 100 or so minutes of their remake of "True Grit."  I did not enjoy any minute of it. Well, that may be a bit of a stretch: I liked the Iris DeMent song that was played over the closing titles. 


Hailee Steinfeld plays Mattie Ross, who hires Rooster Cogburn (Jeff Bridges) to avenge the death of her father. I know some people have raised 14 year old Ms. Steinfeld to high heavens, but he just did not do it for me. Her performance, for me, was akin to a 14 year old playing dress up as a cowgirl. I never believed it. Since this movie is doing so well, a lot of people are betting that she wins the Supporting Actress Oscar, and I hope not. For her to beat Melissa Leo would be unthinkable. But back to the movie, I also think Jeff Bridges gives one of the worst performances of 2010. You can barely understand a word he is saying between the grumps and mumblings. That's pretty weird considering a lot of people commend the Coens for the wit of their screenplay. How will we hear it when it is mumbled? 


So call me grumpy, call me fairy. This just doesn't work for me. "True Grits," for me is like eating grits" rough and tasteless. 

Snow Flash

Snow again. Although we are not getting a blizzard this time, it's still a storm, and it's still a drag. I had to go to the hospital early this morning with my father since I make it a point now to monitor his health and waking up in the wee hours of the morning (he had a 8 am appointment, and we had to get a cab early) was just a trip. But the good thing was the visit was basically painless since a lot of the other patients canceled their appointments so we had minimal wait and was out of there in a flash.  

Things to remember:
1) The worth of character;
2) The improvement of talent;
3) The influence of example;
4) The joy of origination;
5) The dignity of simplicity;
6) The success of perseverance.

~ Marshall Field

Love Crunches Us

So here, we go: the first book completed for my 2011 Book Challenge. I really wanted my first-read book to be a blockbuster one, either commercially, or artistically. But it turns out that I finished one that is more subtle. THE BIG CRUNCH is a YA (Young Adult) title, but there is a big trend nowadays for established authors to write YA literature. Pete Hautman, the author of this book is no lightweight - he's won a National Book Award.  


THE BIG CRUNCH is a simple love story. And it has no gimmicks - no vampires, no angels with wings, no zombies. However, I think everyone will relate to the story it tells, and it is of your first love. Most of our stories have no frills - we just meet someone, things happen, and then boom, before we know it we just wake up one day that we are head over heels in love with someone. The book captures that simplicity, but it is not without depth. We feel the gravity of it in the book, and we realize how it changes our life forever. The story may seem ordinary, and it is, but that makes it more relatable. We will see ourselves instantly in any or both of the characters. I liked the book a lot, it has an effortless charm that will have you hooked instantly. It made me reminisce about when I was younger, and I could just easily fall into my emotions. At my age now, I don't have the luxury, or the energy to do that anymore. It is a perfect first book for my challenge: in moving forward, we need to look back and see how far we have traveled, to give us the insight to where we are going. The book will not change people's lives, but it will just make them *feel* their lives fuller. 


Here is the book description:



Jen and Wes do not "meet cute." They do not fall in love at first sight. They do not swoon with scorching desire. They do not believe that they are instant soul mates destined to be together forever.

This is not that kind of love story.

Instead, they just hang around in each other's orbits...until eventually they collide. And even after that happens, they're still not sure where it will go. Especially when Jen starts to pity-date one of Wes's friends, and Wes makes some choices that he immediately regrets.




BC/1

Poetry In Motion

I was trying to write something before, but Blogger was done. I guess this would be the downside now that I have transferred. Since the service is free, I cannot and shouldn't complain and bitch. Besides, it was only down for a small amount of time anyway, maybe it's a maintenance kind of thing. Anyway, so the New York Time is reporting that Barbra (yes, no surnames needed) is in talks to do a film version of "Gypsy," and I say...whaaaat? One, I think she is too old now to playa Mama Rose, and secondly, she cannot sing the part anymore. Well, since the score would be recorded, they can probably pro-tool the hell out of that in her voice, but seriously, I don't think it is a good idea for her to star. Now, maybe she is in talks for it to be a directing vehicle for her, and that would kind of make more sense. Either way, it certainly has a lot of people talking.


While walking today, I chanced upon the SoHo branch of The Housing Works bookstore. What a great place. I don't think I have been there before, although I have been at other branches. The selection was vast, and the prices were incredible. They are all (cheaply priced) used books, of course, but there's nothing I like more than reading a gently-read book. I just imagine the previous owner, and how the book changes his or her life. It's a romanticized version of a dream of course. The previous owner was probably clearing up clutter and donated the book to Housing Works. I just thought it was interesting because earlier in the morning, I donated a pile of books I have read to our local Goodwill store. And, well, I thought the whole day was just poetic.


Oh, and I just can't stop posting pictures of L & L: