Dreams

Amidst all the pomp and circumstance of Halloween, I remember my mom. I took a nap this afternoon and dreamt that I was at Loyola visiting her, so maybe she is remembering me too today. I suddenly feel a little lost, and I am thinking of her. I miss her, and I don't think I miss her less than 20 years ago. I am just in a wistful mood all of a sudden, and I am realizing what's important, what's essential in life. Life is full of ups and downs so you just need to focus on what goes right.

"Yes, I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can find his way by moonlight, and see the dawn before the rest of the world."

- Oscar Wilde,

To Ask?

Saturday night, almost midnight and I am here. There is a Halloween party tonight with some people from work, but I begged off. Literally. I had to beg to *not* go. Is it weird for me not to want to go? I barely know these people and I honestly am too old to try and do small talk with them, and feel uncomfortable on a night when I could be resting. Ultimately, that really is just what I want to do. And so unapologetically, I am here, I took a long afternoon nap, and I feel good. I was going to get a costume for the party - I was thinking either a policeman or fireman - but now I am just going to watch television. Besides, I already did my obligation lunchtime when I went to one of our employee's Christening of his child party so it's not like they can say I am uncooperative. I enjoyed the lunch, it was at a Brasilian Steakhouse so it's not like it was a bad time. But I just like to enjoy the quiet and serenity of a weekend. Is that too much to ask?

"Pick the day. Enjoy it - to the hilt. The day as it comes. People as they come... The past, I think, has helped me appreciate the present - and I don't want to spoil any of it by fretting about the future."

- Audrey Hepburn

You're My Thrill

Thrill of the day: I found out how to make iPhone ringtones from my mp3s so I am having fun with that. I am assigning specific tones based on my contact's personalities, and it is kinda fun. Oh God, I have become such a boring person, haven't I? But I spent a whole night doing that, and now I have close to 100 ring tones to choose from, spanning all genres of music! Now, if I could only decide who to give Nora Aunor's "Banjo Boy" ring tone to, I would be truly happy. But is anyone really truly happy anyway?

"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe."  

- Carl Sagan

Walk West

I saw this picture today, and I felt suddenly sad. I have walked this block a hundred thousand times, on my way to the Christopher Street Station on Hudson, and it made me wistful, as here I am, 5000 miles away. It made me think about my old life, my old train station, the old me. 

Tristesse

The 4S

So I got the iPhone 4S last Friday and I have been using it since. It took maybe half an hour on the phone with Verizon to have it turned on, and I thought that didn't bode well for me, but I carried on. My verdict - it's definitely nice and fast, but.. it's not the revolutionary life-turning thing that people have made it out to be. I mean, I love the apps available, and the ease, but do I really not get all these things in any other phone, without all the hype and the agita that comes in getting an iPhone? Time will tell, I guess but as of right now, call me slightly underwhelmed. Maybe if my expectations weren't too high, I would be more impressed.

"Live out of your imagination, not your history."

- Stephen Covey,

Do Something

Yesterday, I was vegging and I just stood up and said to myself, "Do Something!" I didn't want it to be one of those "lost" days when I would realize by the afternoon that I had done NOTHING. So I showered and walked, and told myself why not go to the gym and then see a movie, and the only movie that matched my schedule was "Footloose," and I figured oh well, better than just sitting in bed. But it turns out that the movie wasn't bad at all, and is getting 73% approval rating at Rotten Tomatoes. And Kenny Woreland (or whatever his name is ) is a sexy MF. When he dances he is even sexier. I think he may have a bright future ahead of him if he finds the right projects to showcase his talent. Julianne Hough - she grates on my last nerves, and I am sorry, but she projects way too old to be a High School student. Why is it when I was young, I never had a problem with ONJ in Rydell High, but Julianne is just too unbelievable for me - maybe because she looks like a cheap 42nd Street hooker. I would just rather have her brother, please.

With any trial and circumstance,
a person's true color either shines or darkens.
~ Shannon Walker

Call Of Duty

Still a little bit exhausted, it has been a busy week. Last night, May's dad had a party at Krung Thai, and of course, the whole office, or most of it, was in attendance. And I had to kind of play host. It was a good time but the whole thing felt like a chore. Basically, it was part of my job to smile, greet, and be amiable to everyone when all I wanted to do was go home and sleep. I hate to sound meanie, but these people just don't share my interests. They kept on egging me to sing a karaoke version of Beyonce's "Single Ladies," but I made do with Amy Winehouse. Good enough. There is still leftover lechon because there was just too much there, so all is good. Now they are off to the Epic, and I wish I were coming along but I realize I have enough blessings this year - the Baltic Sun trip was all I could wish for. Anything else would be cherry!

"Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers, but to be fearless in facing them. Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain, but for the heart to conquer it."

- Rabindranath Tagore

Officially

Well, it's official. Mike and Christ got married at City Hall last Wednesday, which makes them my first official friends to be "official." Sigh. I would have been the witness if I were still there. Here's a picture of the wedding march. If you knew the two of them, of course you would know how precious a picture like this would be.

 

The groom wore Vivienne Westwood, just like Carrie Bradshaw.

Jean Generation

I just realized that I wear jeans to work everyday now. (In the summertime I wore shorts to work) And I have been remiss - a lot of the jeans I have been wearing are too lose, shapeless, and frankly, old. Most are frayed at the bottom, and it really is such a messy look. So I vow to change. I still have some that are unworn, and why the hell I am I saving them for? I am going to start wearing them, and I am going to throw away these ones I have been wearing. Yes, they are soft and comfortable, but they are also kind of...dinghy. And I have always been careful with my wardrobe before, and I am getting to the point where I am getting careless. It's another one of those things that I am getting too comfortable with, and it really isn't me. I need to stop wearing jeans everyday, and maybe one day a week I will "dress up" a little bit. It would be very overwrought to wear my shirts and ties (and I still have those, too) but I could very well go a little dressier. So tonight, I vow to throw away these four or five jeans I have been using past couple of months, and take out the newer, un-frayed ones from my closet and give them a "coming out" party. Oh, and it all coincides with National Coming Out Day, which is today.

The head thinks, the hands labor,
but it's the heart that laughs.
~ Liz Curtis Higgs
  

Already Thoughts

I am just a little bit exhausted right now. My sister was in town so we were out most of the weekend. She left early this morning, so hopefully I can get some rest. And then, my brother and sister in law leave for the Epic this weekend, and it should be hectic at work. Such is life, full of excitement. But I am really not complaining.  A lot of people have it much much worse. On my mind right now.

1. I really dislike Lady Gaga's music. It's so derivative. I have made a decision to take her album off my iPod Nano, the one I bring with me everywhere. I won't miss it, because every time any of her songs come on, I skip to the next one. Meanwhile, whenever it chooses an Adele song, I stop and listen, and don't seem to mind. So Lady, it's been nice (actually it hasn't) but...sayonara.

2. Saw "No Other Woman" at the Regal Village on Friday night and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Anne appears to be better than Christine all in all. The movie vacillates between camp and taking itself too seriously, but all in all much better than a lot of things I have seen from Star recently. And the place was jam-packed. We couldn't get decent seats, and we heard they had to add a second theater to accommodate the crowds. I was surprised, and was a little bit frightened by the crowd.

3. I really did not like the first half of "bridesmaids," so it took me a couple of days to finish it, but by the end of the movie, I was hysterical laughing and of course love that my beloved Wilson Phillips was prominently featured. And it was surprisingly sweet and romantic, and it tugged my heart, too. Yes, I was a Bridesmaids hater, but I have now seen the light. Hold on for one more day!

I know for certain that miracles happen,
but only for those who hang on to hope.
~ Nick Vujicic

Almost New

I  was admiring the pics of the "new" iPod Nano during Apple's press conference, when I realized it's the same Nano that I have with different software. Oh well, I said to myself, I will just wait. But when I plugged my Nano in this morning to edit songs, it asked me if I wanted to download the new software, and after I did, I realized that it is the same one as those in the pictures I was looking at, and voila! now I feel like I have a new Nano. I use this a lot, it's the one bring to work, and use while walking and I also bring it when I go to the gym. I feel so happy! And they even have the Mickey Mouse Clock as an option for when you just want to see the time. I usually out the current dance stuff that Jimmy sends me in there, to get my heart beating, but I also put a ton of jazz vocals and most of the "newer" things I have that I want to listen to and absorb more.

We don't understand life any better
at forty than at twenty,
but by then we realize it and admit it.
~ Jules Renard 

Feeling Dirty

So Apple announced the "new" iPhone today, and I have been waiting for this. My Blackberry for Verizon is almost three years old now, and has now a habit of freezing, so I am really due for a new phone. And I have been waiting for this iPhone. But...they did not announce the iPhone 5, rather a variation of it - a better version of it, if to quote a song. I think i will get it, because I suspect and believe that when iPhone 5 comes out next year, it will be a Sprint exclusive. Everyone should only have these kinds of problems. I wore this white polo shirt today, and it really is so comfortable. I have had it for a while now, and it has kind of become one of my favorites to wear. The pique cotton has gotten so soft now. But then I realize that there are some yellowish stains on the front. They aren't the most noticeable, but I felt so....dirty the whole day. Not many may have seen it - indeed, most probably no one has - but *I* know about it, and it really got me so disturbed. I am throwing it away. I got it on sale, and it has served me pretty well. There really is no sense holding on to it. God knows I have enough to choose from. I just need to let go of it.

"Don't cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won't let you see the stars." - Violeta Parra

S

Drops Of Rain

It rained today, a lot more than I have ever seen here. And it turns out, people here cannot handle rain. Just as I was glancing at the window and saying to myself, "Wow, that's really coming down," well, our phones started to fizzle, and the power went out. And I mean, this rain is not even heavy duty rain. I mean, it's more so than usual, but in reality it's nothing more than say, a Summer Afternoon shower back East. Hence, here we go again with my comparisons. I shouldn't, really. They are two different worlds. In my head I keep on hearing Eponine's song Les Mis: "A little drop of rain can hardly hurt me now." Weak sauce, weak sauce.

"Don't wait to realize you shouldn't have waited." - Ofer Moses

A Lady At The Cinemas

The year is almost ending, I realize this as I look at at the calendar and it's October. Christmas is coming soon, and I am not emotionally ready for it. I went to the movies today and the weirdest thing happened. As we were waiting for the movie to start, ushers came in and started checking for people's tickets. And then I realize, they had a target, a lady was spotted going into a second film after coming and finishing one. They actually escorted her out of the theater, as she protested and started screaming, "I want to speak to your manager now!" It felt kind of sad. I guess she had a lot of pride and did not want to just accept her mistake. I suspect they had been watching her and maybe she got defiant. I am not going to lie and say I have never done it, but I find that the second movie always suffer when I do cheat like that, so I don't really do it often. I can count in one hand the number of times I have done it. Still, it must be embarrassing for her. I kind of felt bad.

"Good, the more communicated, more abundant grows."
— John Milton