Never Say Goodbye

Barbra Streisand is recording a tribute album to Alan and Marilyn Bergman, and for me that is a cause for celebration. And yes, I know that she has recorded a lot of their songs anyway, but on a benefit the other night, I read that she sang a version of "I'll Never Say Goodbye," and my mussy is salivating over that. I am sure that is one of the tracks on that album. 


As much as I am lamenting how much CDs I have now that I am packing them for a cross-country move, as I look at them one by one, I keep on thinking, "Oh, this is a graat disc, I want to listen to this," which remind me why I bought them in the first place. I swear, I will listen to them more when I move to the new place. I will make it a point to listen to those I haven't heard in a while, and I have no doubt that I will enjoy them as much as I did the first time I bought them. 

"Emotion is messy, contradictory... and true."

- Nigella Lawson,

Two Wills Are Better Than One

Didn't I recently just lament how two people can write a novel? Well, I am going to eat my hat because in this novel, "Will Greyson, WIll Grayson," having two points of views worked perfectly to its advantage. It's a story of two teenage boys named Will Grayson, and how they both meet in a very strange circumstance, and how they both grow wiser after they do. I heard about this book because on Band Of Thebes, a lot of gay authors named this among their favorite books of 2011. And they were all right, because I thought this was  a thought provoking book which had me laughing, crying, and contemplating about life. What I loved about this is how two points of view crashed, and that was when I thought having two voices/two authors worked. John Green's Will Grayson is a teenage straight boy who has a gay boy best friend. Weird, but out of the two Wills I preferred him. He had a smart self-deprecating tone that was hilarious and I loved how he was the "straight man" for his gay best friend's dramatic shenanigans. David Levithan's Will is a bit more serious, a gay teenager who is depressed, and trying to figure out his place in the world. It just reinforces how much life is a struggle for everyone, and we have all been through that. Sexual Orientation is sich a non-event the younger generation, and this book shows that. I really recommend this book, especially to younger teenagers. But for older gay men like us, it's as much of a treat!

BC/10

Environmental

I needed to run some errands today and I always try to bring my own non-plastic shopping bag because, as you know, I abhor plastic bags.  So I was at the dollar store and was buying sandwich bags to use for the packing of my CDs, and as I was paying, told the cashier not to bother with the plastic bag and I would just put the items in my (very chic, btw) bag. This Hindu woman got mad and said, "You can't do that!," to which I answered, "What do you mean I can't do this? I do this all the time." "If you want to put it in your bag, you can put that whole plastic bag of purchase inside your bag!." So of course this got me so irate, and said. " I hate plastic bags and I am doing this for the environment!"  Not only when her co-cashiers started looking at her funny when she said, "Okay. Do what you want," as if she was doing me a favor. An older version of me would have prolonged the nightmare, but I just bit my tongue and went out.  I still wonder hy she resisted - power play? Is she a Republican who does not care about the environment? I swear, you have to deal with all kinds of people. 

Opulence is the law of the universe,
an abundant supply for every need
if nothing is put in the way of its coming.
~ Ralph W. Trine
  

Achy Breaky

My body aches, and I don't know why. I may have pulled a muscle in all my lifting of boxes. As if. But it does, and it hurts, and I am a big baby. I swear one of these days the news will be brighter, not always these woe is me kind of things. It's right around the corner, I can feel it. How come so many people cannot believe that I may want to movie. One of my cousins told me today, "You? But you have such a New York kind of personality." And I keep on explaining to them things people,  people change, I am a different person now. And I truly am. I cannot believe how much I have mellowed I am packing all my CDs and I am reliving all these memories - of music and their associations: old friends, old haunts, old dinners, old conversations. I have this sense in my heart that my life has been pretty full. My life has had its share of colors. I know my life now will be simpler, but my life has been a lot simpler than before these past couple of years anyways, so will be there really be a big change? God, these posts of introspection are sure getting weary, no? 

If you are going to doubt something,
doubt your limits.
~ Don Ward

Dry

When I got my hair cut yesterday, Emiko told me that I should start putting oil in my hair. 'Oil?" I exclaimed? I have always had oily hair, or so I thought. But as we grow older, I guess our hair gets drier and drier, and I really should take the idea out of my head (pun intended) that I have oily hare. I have noticed that I need to condition my hair a lot more often now, but Emiko told me that hair serum would definitely help my hair be shiny and healthy I was floored by this. Yet another physiological thing that changes as we grow older. They just keep on comin', I tell ya. By the by, I am still in a dilemma on how to look for a Vegas hairdresser. I googled Japanese Vegas salons and nothing comes up. Emiko told me that she had a friend who moved there, but Nevada is one of those states which does not recognize New York State licenses. So...I think I figured out that when it is time for me to get a haircut, then it would also be time for me to visit. Makes sense, right?

"In the evening of life, we will be judged on love alone."

- St. John of the Cross

Cirque De Spidey

To say that SPIDERMAN: TURN OF THE DARK is a troubled musical is a bit of an understatement.  It was fraught with financial and technical problems, and then it made headlines because actors got into accidents (thankfully none fatal) during the previews. It has been on previews since November, and the opening date has been pushed three times now. A lot of major critics published reviews the other day because it was the last opening date before it got pushed back. The producers got miffed at that, but in my opinion, if the show is charging full price for previews (I got a heavily discounted one - they are aplenty) then it should be fair game for any review. So on and on and on there are issues with the show, and at times it is taking the spotlight away from what matters most : the show. Is it any good? 


Well, it's not the worst musical ever made. I'll start with positive things - the sets are awesome and imaginative, though it does not really look like they spent a lot of money on it. And Reeve Carney, as Spiderman, is one beautiful hunk of meat. And some songs - taken out of context - can be great pop songs. The talent on stage is more than  competent, although what they are made to do? Well, then here come the negatives. The book is a mess. You can tell that a lot of changes have been made, because some scenes do not make sense anymore - and the ending comes out of nowhere seems half-baked. (Julie Taymor has said that this is a new ending)   The songs are mostly tuneless and seems out of touch with the show.  The choreography is sometimes embarrassingly bad. Most of all, this is a show that is stylistically more a Vegas Cirque De Soleil type of engagement than a Great White Way one. Even the best gimmicks - acrobatic and flying - is nothing original - I have seen just as good presentations in Cruise shows.  I think expectations have been built up here that nothing could ever match it. When I was watching the bows, I felt really bad for the actors - you can see that they work their butts of, and yet somehow nothing jives. It almost warrants a standing ovation, had I been still awake. 

It Was A Love Affair

In the olden days, I used to spend days and days of just walking around New York City. I'd start aimlessly in the Village then venture uptown, or to the financial district. I think that's how my love story with the city started. And then age came, and I started to do it more section by section. I can't even remember when i stopped doing it, maybe when the NYC I knew disappeared. Nowadays I still know the city inside and out, but the specifics are different now. I mention this because today I had one of those aimless days. I got my haircut in Nolita, and walked around Soho for a little bit, then...I found myself getting tired and bored. I have had my torrid love story with the city, and I will always love it, but as I make my move I find myself wanting to move on. Like a love affair, I will always look fondly on it, but I have realized I want to go having other love stories now. I am tired and stressed, and overwhelmed by the packing, and at times I ask myself if I am even making a dent. But I am, and I will finish with flying colors. I loved tonight's Valentine's Day episode of Glee, and it made me kind of wistful for a bit. But I am way too old to wish for a Valentine, and I won't even pretend otherwise. Let the kids have at 'em. 

"It all depends on how we look at things, and not on how they are themselves."

- Carl Jung

Yield To Narrate

A book about a gay hustler in New York City: a cliche, right? I have probably read hundreds of these types of books.  Yet I am still drawn to the genre. There's something about going into the mind of someone who is providing sexual services to people that just gets to me - intellectually (take your mind off the gutter)  So it is not a big surprise to me how much I enjoyed reading this book. Told in first-person, this is sort of a journal, slice-of-life character driven piece. It takes place in 1999 in New York City, a time and place very familiar to me. I recognize a lot of the environment where all the actions take place in here. It doesn't really tell a story as much as it explores relationships between people: between Simon (the narrator) and his clients, as well as his friends. The characters are vividly drawn, real and not over the top. I love that Mr. Houck shows a lot of restraint in his characterizations, for they seem more real to me that way. I love how he explores the dynamic of gay men having his group of friends as his family - that is certainly true in a lot of gay men I know, including myself. This is a silent introspective book, one that kept me thinking about life. 

2011/9

Eleven

Right now it's raining and I am getting a little depressed.  This dark, dreary, dank weather can really hang you up the most. Maybe because I cannot wait for the move to be over. Today I sent out eleven (count 'em, ELEVEN) boxes via UPS, and I am just tired and worn out, and it's only just the beginning, I know. At least, as of right now there are no snow storms scheduled this week so hurray for encouraging news. My mind is just overwhelmed because there is so much to do, and I find myself lapsing into a zombie, vegetable like state at times. I just want to look forward to some light at the end of the tunnel. There is one, I know. 

"Trials are but lessons that you failed to learn, presented once again. So, where you made a faulty choice before, you can now make a better one, and thus escape all pain that what you chose before has brought to you."

- A Course In Miracles

Mary Cleere

Life is fragile.  Yesterday, Ann Hampton Callaway posted on her Facebook wall that Mary Cleere Haran was "gravely ill" after a cycling accident in Florida.  I senses that it wasn't good, as Ann was very down about it, and was asking everyone's prayers.  Sure enough, it was reported Saturday night she indeed passed away. I felt sad, since she was one of my favorite cabaret singers, and even met her once when we were invited to the dress rehearsal of one of her Algonquin shows. She was fantastic live - so witty, funny, lively. She had a patter like no other, and shone under the lights. Plus, she had a style all her own. I had heard horror stories after, and there were rumors of drug use, but what I remember most is the music. I was doing some packing earlier when out of the blue her CD appeared out of nowhere, "This Funny World: Mary Cleere Haran sings Lyrics By Hart."  I am listening to it now, as I write this, she is singing "I'll Tell The Man On The Street." It's beautiful, it's haunting. Heaven just got a jazzy angel. 

Frozen, But My Heart's Not Broken

I am back in the chilly East Coast, though I just realized the temperature when I left Vegas in the early morning was exactly the same in the middle of the afternoon when I arrived. So we may be having a heat wave over here now. There's rain and sleet today so it's an icky mess. My first order of the day yesterday was to go to DMV. When I was in vegas, I couldn't apply at any of the apartments because I did not have a valid state ID. Well, I technically had one, but it was expired and no one would take it. I was even told not to walk around with an expired one because it was "dangerous." I thought my valid passport would trump every other ID. I mean, if you got a passport, wouldn't that mean you were a legit as they come? Even when I was renewing my ID yesterday, all I had to do was present my passport. Weirdness of all weirdness. But I am back, and the heavy duty major packing begins. 

Learning is a treasure
that will follow its owner everywhere.

~ Chinese Proverb

The Silverton

Location, Location, Location

I am very close to making a decision on where to live here, and I am feeling kind of determined. I am making my choice based on the adage "Location, location, location."  Admittedly, it isn't the newest and most luxurious place, but it is pretty nice. It is centrally located to everything - there are stores, restaurants, and supermarkets just across the street. There's a Target and Walmart in a block. There's even an In N Out Burger in the next block. And the best part: there is an eyebrow threading place nearby. I admit that was one of my biggest dilemmas when I decided to make a move. It will be very convenient for my father, and let's face it - I am a city person and would be probably be more comfortable having places to go to as I walk out that door. I don't know how I would feel if I were in a place with a gated community and houses to the left and right. I do wonder if I would be able to learn how to drive. I keep on thinking about the Vogel play and if it would still apply to me. But  all will be well, I believe.  I will overcome.

Desert Freeze

It's freezing here in Las Vegas tonight. I thought this was the desert? Anyway, I am not complaining because the rest of the country is snowed in. Plus, I kinda like breaks of cold anyway, and it should be good sleeping temperature anyways. My brother got me the tickets to my return trip here on the last week of February. That should give me enough time to tidy over a lot of looser ends by then. And tonight's episode of "The Good Wife" was excellent, and I was particularly glad that Matt Czuchry was given a lot more to do, and looks to be a major player in a lot of upcoming storylines. Oh, and it looks like the Metal Rabbit starts shortly, so Happy New Year to everyone!

Tequila Stops The Pain

It looks like I really will be "stuck" here until Friday. There are no other flights available, and I guess I could keep on checking and checking, but I honestly do not want to stress myself so I will just take that early morning Friday flight. At least it will arrive there early enough so I can still get some things done on Friday. I need to start sending boxes, and I really want to speed up the moving process.  I will be focusing on that intently when I get back. I totally want to push up the move. I mean, I have even acclimated to West Coast time.


Last night, we went to see this Pinoy band here, and it was just...bad. Like second-rate. I of course did not say anything, but it was amateurish. The main singer, before singing "Respect" kept on referring to it as a Patti LaBelle song, and I wanted to say, You are in the entertainment industry (though barely) and you should know the most basic of all music history basic facts. It was embarrassing. Plus, on the dance floor, all these "matronas" kept on doing ballroom dancing with their "DI" (Dancing Instructors) and I was cringing the whole night. On the plus side, the drinks were very good, so I drowned all my reservations on margaritas. Nothing like tequila to stop the pain.