I Get So Emotional

Watching the Tonys became a weep-o-rama for me. Emotional. I think it's because I have such love for the New York Theater community, and also because the whole award show reminded me of the life I led behind - a life I nurtured for 27 years, and now I am here and I cannot even watch the Tonys live as it is happening at the Beacon. maybe because there are times I question my choices, even if I know that I made the best decision I can with the time and circumstance I have dealt with. For the most part, I am happy and contented but there are times when I feel I don' own my life, and maybe the Tony Awards brings me back to a time when I was younger, more free, where decisions were made without major consequences pro and con.... Or maybe I just weep because it was one of the best Tony telecasts I have seen in a long time, and Neil Patrick Harris outdid himself as a host. And maybe because I think this is such a stellar season for shows, where even productions and performances not nominated were just as great. I become so wistful sometimes, I become overly sentimental a lot, but as I grow older, I think I have become better at letting go. When I wake up tomorrow living my new life, my old one, and this reminiscence of it will just be a memory.

"Make more decisions in every day. Because a decision is a summoning of life. That's why a little chaos is good for you, because often you don't make a decision until you get yourself in a jam. And then, in the middle of the jam, you make a decision, but that decision summons Life Force. Have you ever been a place where you couldn't quite make up your mind and you just felt sort of limp? "Oh, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know." And then you decided, and you felt alive again. We want you to know that you'll never get it done. So don't approach this from, "I gotta get on this" because you're not ever going to get it done, anyway. And the other thing we want you to know is, you cannot get it wrong. So, make a decision. Let it flow."

- Esther Abraham-Hicks