Broken Marriage

Love hurts.  The same love that once made you so happy can hurt you, and can break your marriage. That seems to be the lesson to be taken from BLUE VALENTINE. This film is a portrait of a marriage gone awry, and for my money, the most romantic movie of 2010. But beware, though: it is also the most painful movie to watch - we can easily watch buildings crumble, or for that matter, for the word to end, but witnessing how love is broken down? It tore me apart. 


Above all, I will never forget this movie for two reasons: Michele Williams and Ryan Gosling. They deliver what to me are the most honest performances in film on any given year. It is one thing to convey pain, but it is more difficult to essay happiness. Their chemistry is so palpable it explodes in front of your eyes, so when you see them part ways, you are scarred for life. You realize that even though on paper they seem to be the perfect match, the things that brought them together - innocence, spontaneity, recklessness - are the same things that destroyed them. In one pivotal scene, I found myself helplessly sobbing. I can't remember the last time I got so attached to characters on screen, and up to now find myself still thinking about them. This movie is more character study than plot, but boy do these characters make a lasting impression. You'll never forget them. 

On Second Thought

When I see a movie in the cinemas, it is very rare for me to see it again on video. I always say, there are always other titles out there to see and explore. However, last week I was read an interview with Patricia Clarkson and the interviewer was telling her how she should be a major Oscar contender for her performance in "Cairo Time," and she laughed it off. I was struck then about how true that is - that she should be one of the frontrunners in the Lead Actress category. If it was a bigger movie supported by a major studio, she would be a shoo-in. Well, that gave me the inspiration to Netflix the movie, and yes I am just as amazed by her performance. What a quiet introspective film, and she anchors the whole movie. In a lot of ways, I felt like I was seeing a reality series, for not even a minute did I see that Ms. Clarkson was a character on screen: she moved, walked, and acted so real. Now when people ask me for renting recommendations, I will always suggest this first.


I read my January Horoscope from Susan Miller and it promises all sorts fo wonderful things for the month of January.  Oh, if only... 

"A pearl is a beautiful thing that is produced by an injured life. It is the tear [that results] from the injury of the oyster. The treasure of our being in this world is also produced by an injured life. If we had not been wounded, if we had not been injured, then we will not produce the pearl."

- Stephan Hoeller

Hello Young Lovers

Be brave, young lovers, and follow your star,
Be brave and faithful and true,
Cling very close to each other tonight.

A Reunion In London

Could you find a lone red star shining bright?
The lone red star has been passing times to times
It witnessed many reunions and many partings
I wish you gazing at it there
I am too gazing it here
In a distance we are separated
But our hearts won't be divided

The Year Of 50

So today it's acid reflux. It just, pardon the words, flared up, and I had to get Pepto Bismol, and get Pepcid AC. Or this may be just gas - as I said, all the crap I ate during the holidays is coming back to haunt me. Too much oily stuff, too much fat, just too too much of everything. It's cleanse time. I will try to purge as much of it as possible. 


One of the things I want to do more in 2011 is read. And not just reading status updates or surfing the web. I want to read books, because I truly believe that it makes me a better communicator. I don't even care if it's a trashy tome, but I always take something from every book I read, there's always a life lesson I take from it, and this makes me understand the human condition much better, and then I apply it to myself and in the end I end up being a better person. I know this is a reach for some people, but it's what I believe. I have seen a lot of goals for some people, but the one I was most comfortable with was a 50 book goal for the year. The way I figure, it would be just a little less than a book a week, which is very doable. I remember in the olden days when I would finish three or four in a week. All I really need is just motivation. My "dream goal" would be 100 books in a year, but that may be just a little too much. But you never know...

"Behold, I make all things new."

- Rev 21:5

And Then It Went Bang!

I am finally feeling almost okay, and I thought today, Oh how the Holidays went by, and it was fine. Nothing to really be unhappy about it, and that's just fine. I have been trying to uneat the past two days, since my stomach was starting to bother me, what with all the crap I have been eating the past two weeks, and that's when I started feeling better. SO there must be a correlation there somewhere. It was an "aha" moment, as Oprah would call it. And I am not even being ironic about this. I think. 


One of the best discoveries for me in 2010 was Marc Jacobs' men's perfume "Bang."  I am glad to see it on a lot of "Best Of" lists from the perfume community. It was love at first smell for me, and I can even say that I have never been a fan of Marc Jacobs' scents. This had a very L'artisan quality, I thought, and is quite unique for a commercial scent: white pepper mixed with cedar. It turns sweet on me, as usual, but the pepper gives it that spice and kick that makes it interesting up until the drydown. It is pretty linear, and it doesn't last as long as I want, although some people say it is pretty big for them.  For a designer scent, it is pretty adventurous - no aquatics, no mens amber - so I hope it is successful so other commercial houses will be as adventurous. For its price point, it can compete with all the best niche houses out there. 

Hope is not a granted wish or a favor performed;
no it is far greater than that.
It is a zany, unpredictable dependence
on a God who loves to surprise us out of our socks.

~ Max Lucado

1/1/11

2011. Can you even believe it? So how has it been, you ask? Pretty uneventful, and good. I want to say that I slept the New Year away, but I had my insomnia thing last night. But it's all good. I must say that one of the highlights of the evening for me was the NKOTB/BSB thing. Pathetic, I know...ha ha. Today it's 50 degrees (!) so I just hope that a lot of this snow melts. I know it would result to muddy puddle, but at least it would clear the roads and sidewalks. 


2010 wasn't the very best year for me, but there were great things too. I was blessed to be able to go to The Holy Land, and that is an experience I will never forget for the rest of my life. The rest of that trip was just as memorable, but I will cherish that I was able to go on a trip with my very best friends in the world, and that makes everything priceless. I truly believe no that wonderful experiences are infinitely more important in my life than any material thing. These memories will never ever fade in my mind - no one can take them away from me. 


I have been watching OWN - The Oprah Winfrey Network - and I like the shows I have seen so far. I do wonder if Oprah will find success with this - she will have to strike a fine balance between feel-good shows and entertainment. But I suspect she has enough followers that it won't be an initial washout. For now, though, I'm in. 


Resolutions : same old. I want to read more. I want to save. I want to put things in order those which are not. I will live life, and be happy. I try to choose things that I know I can do, so I do not disappoint myself. In the end, I am the most important thing in my life. 

Showgyrrrr

So I had a great date with myself last night to watch Bette Midler's show "The Showgirl Must Go On" on HBO. I was actually looking forward to it, since I don't think I have seen Bette Midler live since "Diva Las Vegas" and for my money, among all the "divas," she is tops for live performance. Well, bottom line is that I wasn't disappointed with what I saw last night - this is the fiery, irreverent Bette I have always loved, although age does catch up with everyone, since I have never seen her so...exhausted, I guess is the most appropriate word. She jokes about it, but I get that she isn't entirely unserious. The Colloseum stage at Caesar's Palace almost dwarfs her, but all in all she makes the most of it. I can just imagine what kind of barn that space is.  She has a pretty big show that fills it physically, but in content I wish it was just a little more vast. She sings all the "hits," and I am sure that is a great crowd pleaser, but I feel like she didn't throw a bone for all of us "fans" who have been with her from the very beginning. For every "Wind Beneath My Wings" that we have to suffer through, I don't think it would have hurt to have inserted a "Surabaya Johnny," for example. Still, this is entertainment to the highest degree, and watching her is seeing a living legend in action. They don't make 'em like they used to, folks, so we should just sit back and enjoy it while we still can. 

It's Just Another Auld Lang Syne

Well, I have a date with myself tonight - and it will be good. I think it has become more a tradition for me to just have a quiet NYE. My toleration level now for smoky crowds and parties is almost nil, so I will just do what I like to do, and be happy. Let's all say goodbye to 2010, and welcome 2011 with welcoming arms. It gets better. Let me post this Barry Manilow song, I always feel sad whenever I hear it. Up until the 90s, he used to always sing this on Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve, but I guess nowadays this song would be too melodic for Rhianna fans. I think it encapsulates what I always feel on this day, every year...

Before The Day Before

So I think I caught one of those 24 hour bugs, and it was pretty much very rough going last night. I think I slept the whole day today, and had only soup for fear that anything I eat will just get chucked out. This holiday season has just been one non-stop sickness after another, and yet another reason for me to want to rid of this year soon. 2010 was a bit of a struggle. There were good parts, though, and I just thank the Lord for all the blessings. 


Pipo and Jeff are both having a NYE Party extravaganza at The Mayan, and looks like I am going to e sick. I got an invitation for a party at Ric and Lyn's but had to beg off - right now my plans include being with Bette Midler (on HBO) and then maybe Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin (for the countdown) It's just all so exciting, I think. 

Knowledge comes by eyes always open
and working hands, and there is no knowledge
that is not power.

~ Jeremy Taylor

The Mood I Am In

I just woke up from sleep, am not feeling well again. Oh, when will this madness stop? And the snow is really annoying me now, it's not funny anymore. The usual seven  minute walk turned into a good twenty today, and why aren't the streets properly plowed? But then again, there's only so much they can do, I guess. I remember getting a phone call from the municipality the other day - actually, I let the machine pick up - saying that car owners should free the streets so the city can clear the snow. Weird. Since when did the city start calling people? And how did they find out my number? Do they have a master list of everyone's phone numbers? What if I had an unlisted number? Wouldn't that be invasion of privacy? I know I have a lot of questions tonight, it's just that kind of mood I am in. I have a little bit of stomach ache too now, and that isn't helping my demeanor at all. 

Jojo's Birthday Ramen

It's Jojo's birthday, so we had his birthday lunch together ! We went to Ramen Takumi, and it was delicious. I really love that all these ramen places have been sprouting up all over the city; I love them so much I can have them everyday. And the broth is so tasty: you can feel the love that was put in there. And it's just so fitting for us to have noodles on his birthday for it signifies long life. Hope you had quite an enjoyable birthday, Jojo. I know our birthday lunch was just divoon!

Snow Struck

There's still snow - a lot of snow - on the ground and I am feeling really "stranded" now, a sort of cabin fever feeling. But the street has not been plowed, and I am sure walking is really treacherous. The snow isn't white and pretty anymore - it's brown and nasty now, and I hope it melts soon. Also, it's weird that by friday the temperature will be close to 50 degrees, which can only mean one thing - flooding. But at least, a lot of the snow (I hope) will be melting.  I am here, savouring a bottle of red wine, and I cannot believe that I am almost going to finish this bottle all by myself. Well, who am I kidding? I believe it! Seriously, I need to start moving tomorrow. The food in the house is running out, and I have these Netflix movies that need to get mailed out so I have something to watch this weekend. I just need to grin and bear it. 

My Heart WIll Go On

First there was the snow, and now.... more fun! I was taking a nap this afternoon and got awakened by the phone ringing - an unknown number. I pick it up and find it's my bank, Chase. It's someone from their fraud department alerting me that someone tried to charge $1200.00 from my card, and they want to verify if it was me. Since the charge was from out of the country, they thought it was suspicious. Well, what do you know? Of course when I told them I have not been charging recently, they said that my card has now been "compromised," and they are now ordering a new card for me, and I should receive it within the next 5 to 7 business days. Joy, joy, joy. Now I need to get out in the 26 inch snow pile if I wanted to get a temporary card from a branch or get cash. Fun, no? Well, at least I can just be grateful that they are very diligent in these things, and I really don't have to be saddled with an erroneous $1200 charge. But still. It's a major major inconvenience.  Maybe this is the last attack of Mercury Retrograde, which ends the 29th (though I usually unravel earlier...) But we all must go on....

I expect that all of us get pretty much
what we deserve of appreciation.

~ A. C. Benson

I Am Dreaming Of A White Day After Christmas

So it is not just snowing, but blizzarding (is there such a word, don't care) right now, and we are even expecting 12-14 inche of snow. Oy vey. Mother Nature, you are a day late, it would have been a great White Christmas but better late than never, right? I can hear the howling of the wind, and even thunder with this storm. A thunderous snow storm - and I am still sick.