I Dream Of Camille

I woke up this evening from a nap, and I had the most bizarre dream, and it involved Camille Grammer. The details have become sketchy since, but I swear she was in my dreams. Or should I call it nightmare. Of course, I woke up twenty minutes before this week's episode of RWOBH, where she talks about her breakup with Kelsey. It's all just so weird and bizarre. Pipo and I agree that she is fascinating and prefer her over Kyle. 


And I shipped - well, ground-shipped - the first box today. It was sort of a struggle rolling it with my cart through the snow, but I persevered, and I am ok. At one point, I tripped with it, and the metal cart hit my shin, but I recovered. Now I see that there is a big black and blue bruise on my knee. I mistakenly pressed it, and it was painful!

"Life is without meaning. You bring the meaning to it. The meaning of life is whatever you ascribe it to be. Being alive is the meaning."

- Joseph Campbell

Eloquence

1. Not to sound too much like a nelly, but I thought the President's speech was eloquent, and he tapped into the nation's psyche, my psyche, and touched me.  When he introduced the gay intern hero, I just about burst into a crying mess. I have soured on Obama lately, and I was never really a huge fan to begin with, but he was at his best tonight. Now if only Palin would just go far, far away, then we will all be fine. 


2. Now that I am ticketed to go to LAS on the 24th, it is looking like I will be there again on President's Day Weekend. My brother pays $50 per pet for shelter when they are away, and for three days it will cost him $300.00, which is below the plane fare he would pay if I would go down there. He asked me if I was comfortable doing it, and I feel kinda funny being all alone in the house with just the dogs. He says, though that there is a Town Square about five minutes away, and I could go there to pass time. It is supposedly a huge mall, with movie theaters, restaurants, and a pretty popular one too, apparently. 

"You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore."

- Christopher Columbus

Bottoms Up!

I have had this book, "Tush" for a while now, but for some reason or another, I have not read it.  I remember getting it for very cheap, like a dollar or even less. When I was looking for books to read for my book challenge, I pulled this out. It is almost ironic that I finished it today, as I look at out the window and I see snow. Why? Because "Tush" is a summer gay novel, set in one of the gayest of gay summer meccas: Provincetown, Massachusetts. And it started out to be quite fun, too. A gay astrologer uses wit and charm to "lure" guys with nice butts - that's his fetish. It was amusing to see him all kinds of tricks so he could feel the asses of these men. But then at one point, it turned really creepy. He lures a date to Provincetown, and then he gets creepy. He starts stalking a local guy and uses all kinds of maneuvers after he gets rejected by all the men he meets. It was at this point that I started to dislike the character. Maybe when I was younger, I would have tolerated a lot of the crap he was pulling. But as I read it now, I just started to feel angry at him. A lot of his shenanigans were foolish - changing people's pills, drugging his exes, burning a house - that I stopped rooting for him. As a matter of fact, almost all the characters are pretty despicable in character that when good things started happening to them (in spite of their evil deeds) I started to roll my eyes. There are good things about the book - this was written in 1996, so a lto of the P-Town references are familiar, from the bars to the hotels. I discovered that the cemetery on Bradford Street apparently has one of the nicest views in the city, and now I can't wait to check that out when we get back there. The book was not a 100% loss. 


BC/3

Restoration

The quality of customer service has really deteriorated. I called NCl today to inquire about my cousins' reservations for their Med Cruise for early Summer. Among other thing, I asked the representative, Sergio, what the price point differences would be if, say, they upgraded to a mini suite. Then all of a sudden, our call got disconnected. Fine, okay, I assume it's an accident, and I call back. The next representative looks up the reservation again, and all of a sudden she tells me that the room is now in a "back balcony," and I tell her it was never here, even quoting the category and room number where they were in. Apparently, Sergio, in a most bewildering act, changed the reservations when he was researching different quotes, and pressed "Save" in error, and of course, the old room is now gone. I got livid at them - first of all, who is he to change the reservation? I, myself, do not even have authorization to make changes in it since it is not even mine. They were apologetic and explained to me they are "working on it." I told them that is not unacceptable. I told them I would accept nothing less than having them put the reservation back in the same room where they were. After I got put on hold, they were able to "restore" the reservation. But, really, why do people have to endure something like this? Oh, and since today is a "snow day" (thirteen inches dumped overnight) the jury is still out on whether the post office will decide if they will deliver mail. Whatever happened to "Neither snow nor sleet.." Never mind. 

Our stories arise from our hearts and out souls.
In this sense, telling our stories
becomes a sacred gesture opening a clear way
to that deep, ecstatic center
where we are most uniquely our selves,
individual and unique, and yet are ourselves,
joined together at the heart.

~ Susan Wittig Albert

There Are No Signs

I packed my first box today. It was a 16 x 16 x 16, and I started filling it with mostly clothes - summer clothes which I probably won't be wearing until after April. It was a ritual of sorts, the packing, and I think I needed to do it more for the mind rather than the practicality of it. Because once I have it in my mind that I have started, I will get more focused on it. This will be a tough next couple of months. And I will make my first trip there on January 24th, for a week, where I will have to make he first of the preliminary preparations. 


And five years ago today, I met Jimmy. I don't remember the boy, or the feeling anymore. But when I woke up this morning and started flipping channels, I accidentally ran upon the final scene of "Prime," and I asked myself if it was some kind of sign. It's all just a coincidence, I finally realized. There are no signs. 


I am glad that "The Good Wife" was back tonight, and with a great episode to boot. I love the way that the show is both intelligent and emotional, because most shows I love are either one or the other.  

All you really need is love,
but a little chocolate now and then
doesn't hurt.

~ Charles Schulz

The Only Mom

My cousin Wennie told me she was getting a little depressed and she asked me to accompany her watching a movie - "Ang Tanging Ina Mo (Last Na To)" - because she said she wanted to see something funny. I made an internal grunt, since I have never been a fan of this series, but I wanted to be a good cousin so I went anyway. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I really have not seen any of the earlier movies, and hoped the plot points would not rely on them.


Well, this movie won "Best Picture" at the recently concluded Metro Manila Film Festival, and I shudder to think that the quality of the family movies have sunk this low. It's a holiday movie, for sure, but the director has substituted quantity for quality in this movie. He has thrown everything in it, kitchen sink and all. For me, it is one big hot mess. But, it wasn't that bad of an experience. A lot of the topical jokes fly over me, and let's just be frank about it, I am not really the target market for this movie, because I am not a fan of Ai Ai De Las Alas. If this movie is truly the best they coud offer, then shame on you, Philippines. 


Ms. De Las Alas, as a comedienne, employs a style that for me is so exhausting. She tries hard, really really hard, to deliver what she needs to. Almost all of the time it goes to overkill. I don't think she has ever heard the word "subtle" in her life. Her screams have more decibles,  her outstretched arms cross channels, her mouth as big as its ocean. It takes every inch of my energy, and by the time the movie is over, I felt like I needed two days of sleep. It doesn't help that the movie is framed by a reed thin plot line that can barely hold one of her teeth. Honestly, I should give them props for daring to make a movie out of the hodge podge of scenes they shot - it literally looks like they shot all of it in a day. As her side kick, Eugene Domingo is a more intelligent actress, and steals some scenes from Ms. De Las Alas, but they come few and far between. I truly hope this is really the last of the series, but then again, I don't give a fuck. 

A Space Of Silence

Let's observe a space of silence for those who perished in Tucson, Arizona

Cusp

I am at the cusp of some major decisions that will probably affect the rest of my life and I am strangely calm about it. Maybe because, as Jeff puts it, "it's a no-brainer," and Jeff is as smart and practical as they come.  I didn't even know that the USPS delivers on Sundays, but apparently they do, for I got a package today from Pipo of some cute things. He sent me the Ateneo 85 Reunion T-shirt that he got for me during the Homecoming, and he sent me also this cute mirror with LED lights that just screams "Superstar!" when you look at yourself in it. It is so very "me" and I thank you again, Pipo for the wonderful gifts.  And tonight's episode of "Brothers & Sisters" was particularly good, and I think they are back on their stride. Plus, it looks like we are getting another major snowstorm Tuesday night, and with it goes more inconvenience.  But things always work out for the best. They truly always do, if you have faith.

Seemingly Entitled

A couple of months ago, I had lunch with a friend who I hadn't seen in years because he moved to Upstate New York. We were discussing how our lives have changed since when we last saw each other, and I was telling him how I had an epiphany - that in my life right now, I have had a change in priorities. I told him how now I value experience more than material things. Over the years, I have realized that material things fade, but memories of life experiences can never leave you. No one can ever take those away from you. He told me that he saw a big difference in me, and in those years when he knew me, he thought I valued too much emphasis on material things. I laughed his comments off, since I know it was very true. So I was very surprised to get a package from him Christmas time. He sent me a book, "The Privileges," by Jonathan Dee. He told me he thought of me while he read it, and told me that he wanted me to read the book, so he gave me his copy, and then greeted me Merry Christmas. 


The first ting I will say about the book is that it is so impeccable written. Sentences flow like golden champagne - they sparkle, they have zing, they have elegance. Voices change in mid-paragraphs and they are done in such an organic way that you feel every single note of every single feeling conveyed. It is a modern morality tale of money, greed, and how the rich live. I will not pretend and say I am familiar with how these lives are lived, but at the same time, it held no big revelations wither. Mr. Dee fleshes out the four main characters in the book pretty well, yet we somehow don't really get too close to them. And he may not have the best fondness for them either, and yes they are morally bankrupt. I thought I didn't to read a story about a family of privileged, seemingly-entitled people, and right you are they are as unsympathetic - and pathetic - as I thought they were going to be. Yet, I was immediately drawn to them, caring enough to see what would happen to their lives. In the end, nothing major really happens to them, and we don't really know much more, yet I found myself very entertained by the novel, and...it made me think. I devoured the whole book in a little more than a day, and I even dreamt about them. When I turned the last page over, I even missed them...

BC/2

Men Oh Pause

Last night, I woke up shivering (like a little girl quivering) It was really not so unusual, because it was 15 degrees outside, but it was just such a weird feeling. I wondered if I was getting sick again, and even contemplated on getting up and taking Tylenol, but I just bundled up and either I fell asleep and I guess the chills subsided...only to wake up hot and sweaty. Am I getting hot flashes now? Is it the start of menopause? Oy, I tell you. Maybe I should play Katy Perry's "Hot And Cold."


What is this world coming to? Dead birds falling from the sky, thousands of crabs washing ashore, dove turtle doves dead, and now an Arizona Congresswoman getting shot in broad daylight. Could this really be the start of the end of the world? It cannot be all coincidence, can it? Someone is sending us a message, and maybe that message is that Sarah Palin should be silenced forever.  Yeah, I think that's what it is...


Oh, and I just cannot let another day pass by without another picture from the L & L Love Story:

Aral - A Bombet Birthday Special

Like Grits

I have never been a fan of Westerns. Maybe because I am too fey for it? I, also, have never been a fan of the Coen Brothers' movies. Something about their wit is so pretentious for my tastes that I just don't get them. I respect them and the people who stand by their work, but I have tried and tried, and can only shrug and say, "not for me." So I do not know why I sat through 100 or so minutes of their remake of "True Grit."  I did not enjoy any minute of it. Well, that may be a bit of a stretch: I liked the Iris DeMent song that was played over the closing titles. 


Hailee Steinfeld plays Mattie Ross, who hires Rooster Cogburn (Jeff Bridges) to avenge the death of her father. I know some people have raised 14 year old Ms. Steinfeld to high heavens, but he just did not do it for me. Her performance, for me, was akin to a 14 year old playing dress up as a cowgirl. I never believed it. Since this movie is doing so well, a lot of people are betting that she wins the Supporting Actress Oscar, and I hope not. For her to beat Melissa Leo would be unthinkable. But back to the movie, I also think Jeff Bridges gives one of the worst performances of 2010. You can barely understand a word he is saying between the grumps and mumblings. That's pretty weird considering a lot of people commend the Coens for the wit of their screenplay. How will we hear it when it is mumbled? 


So call me grumpy, call me fairy. This just doesn't work for me. "True Grits," for me is like eating grits" rough and tasteless. 

Snow Flash

Snow again. Although we are not getting a blizzard this time, it's still a storm, and it's still a drag. I had to go to the hospital early this morning with my father since I make it a point now to monitor his health and waking up in the wee hours of the morning (he had a 8 am appointment, and we had to get a cab early) was just a trip. But the good thing was the visit was basically painless since a lot of the other patients canceled their appointments so we had minimal wait and was out of there in a flash.  

Things to remember:
1) The worth of character;
2) The improvement of talent;
3) The influence of example;
4) The joy of origination;
5) The dignity of simplicity;
6) The success of perseverance.

~ Marshall Field

Love Crunches Us

So here, we go: the first book completed for my 2011 Book Challenge. I really wanted my first-read book to be a blockbuster one, either commercially, or artistically. But it turns out that I finished one that is more subtle. THE BIG CRUNCH is a YA (Young Adult) title, but there is a big trend nowadays for established authors to write YA literature. Pete Hautman, the author of this book is no lightweight - he's won a National Book Award.  


THE BIG CRUNCH is a simple love story. And it has no gimmicks - no vampires, no angels with wings, no zombies. However, I think everyone will relate to the story it tells, and it is of your first love. Most of our stories have no frills - we just meet someone, things happen, and then boom, before we know it we just wake up one day that we are head over heels in love with someone. The book captures that simplicity, but it is not without depth. We feel the gravity of it in the book, and we realize how it changes our life forever. The story may seem ordinary, and it is, but that makes it more relatable. We will see ourselves instantly in any or both of the characters. I liked the book a lot, it has an effortless charm that will have you hooked instantly. It made me reminisce about when I was younger, and I could just easily fall into my emotions. At my age now, I don't have the luxury, or the energy to do that anymore. It is a perfect first book for my challenge: in moving forward, we need to look back and see how far we have traveled, to give us the insight to where we are going. The book will not change people's lives, but it will just make them *feel* their lives fuller. 


Here is the book description:



Jen and Wes do not "meet cute." They do not fall in love at first sight. They do not swoon with scorching desire. They do not believe that they are instant soul mates destined to be together forever.

This is not that kind of love story.

Instead, they just hang around in each other's orbits...until eventually they collide. And even after that happens, they're still not sure where it will go. Especially when Jen starts to pity-date one of Wes's friends, and Wes makes some choices that he immediately regrets.




BC/1

Poetry In Motion

I was trying to write something before, but Blogger was done. I guess this would be the downside now that I have transferred. Since the service is free, I cannot and shouldn't complain and bitch. Besides, it was only down for a small amount of time anyway, maybe it's a maintenance kind of thing. Anyway, so the New York Time is reporting that Barbra (yes, no surnames needed) is in talks to do a film version of "Gypsy," and I say...whaaaat? One, I think she is too old now to playa Mama Rose, and secondly, she cannot sing the part anymore. Well, since the score would be recorded, they can probably pro-tool the hell out of that in her voice, but seriously, I don't think it is a good idea for her to star. Now, maybe she is in talks for it to be a directing vehicle for her, and that would kind of make more sense. Either way, it certainly has a lot of people talking.


While walking today, I chanced upon the SoHo branch of The Housing Works bookstore. What a great place. I don't think I have been there before, although I have been at other branches. The selection was vast, and the prices were incredible. They are all (cheaply priced) used books, of course, but there's nothing I like more than reading a gently-read book. I just imagine the previous owner, and how the book changes his or her life. It's a romanticized version of a dream of course. The previous owner was probably clearing up clutter and donated the book to Housing Works. I just thought it was interesting because earlier in the morning, I donated a pile of books I have read to our local Goodwill store. And, well, I thought the whole day was just poetic.


Oh, and I just can't stop posting pictures of L & L: